


Deathnotetober- Love is the Death of Duty

by AnotherLostSoul



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Afterlife, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet flashbacks, Bottom L (Death Note), But he is missing L and trying to be Kira so..., Deathnotetober, Descent into Madness, Did I mention L is a cat?! (Sort of), Doomed Relationship, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Forgiveness, Full of authors head canons, Guilt, L centric, L has feelings, L haunts Light, L is autistic, L is torn between duty and love, L spends some time as a cat, Light goes insane, Light is a sociopath, Loss of Virginity, M/M, MU, Major Angst in some chapters, Memory Loss, Miscarriage, Murder, Ouija, POV Multiple, Pining, Post-Yotsuba Arc, Reminiscing, Retribution, Time Skips, Top Yagami Light, Tumblr Prompt, Yagami Light is Kira, Yes L dies in this, Yotsuba Arc, dark themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2020-11-08 23:36:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 31
Words: 37,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20843903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherLostSoul/pseuds/AnotherLostSoul
Summary: L knows Light is Kira and he knows he will die by his hand. He loves him anyway...An Angsty, bittersweet re-telling of how Light fell in love with L, regained his memories and began the slow descent into madness after L's death from two surprising points of view: L's spirit who haunts Light and witnesses the triumphs, despair and downfall of Kira and Light himself, who is struggling to maintain his sanity as Kira takes over...





	1. Light

**Author's Note:**

> It's Deathnotetober time! I have been so excited to take part in this prompt and read other's entries it's unreal 💖🎃💖
> 
> Please leave some feedback and I really hope you enjoy my humble offering for DeathNoteober (and happy Halloween month! 🎃🎃🎃)
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: xxanotherlostsoulxx

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light wakes up as he usual does : pissed at Ryuzaki. A surprising heart to heart in the bathroom soon changes those feelings into something else as they finally stop dancing around each other and admit their feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I often wake up to being prodded and having my name called by my other half. It is BEYOND irritating but at the same one of the things I love most about them 😂

Light awoke as he did most days. That's to say, not warm and content or filled with energy and eager to start the day. 

Oh No, Light woke up as he usually did. _Annoyed_. 

"Light. Liiiight? Light?! LIGHT!"

"GOD DAMN IT, RYUZAKI!" Light really did worry for his heart. Being chained to L was the single most stressful experience of his life. If Kira didn't get him first then stress related cardiac arrest would, he was certain of it! 

Ryuzaki was utterly unrepentant as he persisted in his poking and sat back on his heels. "Finally. I've been prodding you and calling your name for the last six minutes and forty seconds. I need to urinate, and rather badly, so you need to get up"

Light let out a gust of air from his mouth and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. L had woken him up because he needed to take a leak. Wonderful. 

"Why don't you just take the cuffs off?" Light muttered as he slowly climbed out of bed to follow L to the ensuite. "You have the key" he reminded petulantly. 

"That is just what Kira would say" L replied in that smug-accusatory way that set Light's teeth on edge. He could deal with Ryuzaki and his Kira percentages once he'd had his coffee but before that… throttling him seemed the best option. Or perhaps kissing him. Anything that would keep that bloody tongue busy and unable to talk _("Liiiiight!")_ for five minutes… 

Light ducked his head as his face flushed. He'd thought of kissing Ryuzaki again. Those thoughts were getting harder and harder to ignore now. As where other side effects from their proximity. Light had lost count of the number of times he had laid in the darkness willing his erection away while Ryuzaki had either been draped haphazardly across him or nonchalantly typing away on his laptop.

"That is better" L announced as he washed his hands. Light leaned against the door and crossed his arms in irritation. L spent an inordinate amount of time washing his hands. It went beyond the recommended washing time to obsessive. 

"Why?" Light had to ask. "Why are you always washing your hands. Why do you wash them for five minutes at a time?"

L's eyes flew up to his through the mirror and Light was intrigued to see a faint flush paint Ryuzaki's usually pale face with colour. Light couldn't help but note the blush suited Ryuzaki. 

"I…" L cleared his throat and turned off the taps with an aggressive jerk. Light could see he had rattled him and the petty side of him was glad. He was sick of waking up to L prodding him and whining his name in a near perfect Misa impression. At least Ryuzaki now knew what it was like to be annoyed. "If you really must know, Light, it is something of a fixation of mine. I've been this way when I was a child. I… detest not feeling clean. I am aware my habits are eccentric and odd to most people and-" L suddenly stopped as if realizing he was saying too much. Light uncrossed his arms and offered a small smile. 

"Go on. You can tell me, Ryuzaki. I'm… well, I'm your friend and friends should tell each other this sort of stuff"

_'Oh Light, if only you meant that'_ L thought sadly. While he enjoyed annoying the teen immensely it was something of a deliberate attempt to distract himself from his pain and frustration. He knew in his heart Light Yagami had been the first Kira and he was afraid he would become him again. He'd let himself get too close to the teenager now and his gut told him in the end his feelings (yes, he'd admitted they existed) would come back to bite him. 

"Ryuzaki" Light reached for him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You can tell me, you know…"

L looked up into sincere amber eyes and made a silent wish. He knew it was stupid but how he wished in that moment Light would never remember who he had been. If only Light could stay this way forever… He wouldn't even mind if nothing ever happened between them (even though deep down he wanted, was waiting, for Light to make a move) so long as they could maintain this odd, tentative friendship they had. 

"I am Autistic, Light. I am on the spectrum for high functioning Aspergers and… My hand washing is… well, therapists have suggested a symptom of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to a physical manifestation of childhood trauma. I am a human being and I have human problems" L bit out the last bit. He felt compelled to argue that yes, the Great Detective was a 21 year old Human Being and not a robot. He did have feelings, fears and dreams just like everyone else. He was not just a shut-in weirdo or a letter on a screen… 

Light had stepped closer and L's eyes widened in shock as he felt Light's arms wrap around him. He couldn't stop the slight tremors that ran through his body at the feeling of such warm pressure against his body. Watari was the only one who he permitted to embrace him and even then it was a rarity. Why was Light holding him like this? Didn't he realise it wasn't fair to play with his feelings like this?

L closed his eyes and allowed himself to indulge. He'd soak up the warmth and the feeling of Light's hands rubbing little circles into his back and store the memory away deep inside his heart. 

"Thank you for confiding in me, Ryuzaki. I think I finally understand you a little better now" Light's words were soft and sincere as they drifted to his ear. "I spend a lot of my time annoyed at you but… I care for you too, Ryuzaki. I hope you know that"

L felt his heart seize at the words. "Light…"

Light pulled away and smiled down at him. "You've told me a secret so I will tell you one of mine too" Light gently lifted L's chin with his hand and-

_'He's leaning in?! Is he going to kiss me?! -'_

L's entire body stiffened in shock as he felt the gentle brush of Light's lips against his own. He felt an ache of longing sweep through him when, as quick as he had descended, Light pulled away. 

"I like you, Ryuzaki. I have liked you for weeks now. Can… can I kiss you again? "

L could only whisper out a shocked "Yes, Light" before he felt those soft lips cover his own again… 

Light was smiling as he kissed him. As Ryuzaki tentatively began to kiss back Light decided that sometimes getting annoyed was a pretty good thing indeed beca use just as he'd hoped he'd ended up kissing Ryuzaki.


	2. Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L ponders over what fate really is and asks Light to be his lover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My heart is literally aching for L in this fic. I am trying to portray him as strong and noble (not a weakling addled by love and giving up because of it) and I really hope this comes across. Please let me know what you think.

The rain smashed into the glass windows of the skyscraper with such a force the sound seemed almost deafening. 

L sat and watched the water stream down with a mildly dreamy expression. Ever since he was a little boy he had found the rain soothing. He would sit and watch it for hours and let his mind drift. He'd thought about all kinds of things from the logical to the fantastical. 

Sometimes he even allowed himself to ponder on the existence of fate.

He hadn't decided if he believed in such a notion yet. Logically he knew that one's actions were determined by their own choices, motives and desires but still… the idea that one's life was predestined from the moment of birth was a fascinating one. 

Would he die at Light's (Kira's) hand? Was that his unavoidable fate? 

"Ryuzaki?"

L slowly turned his head from the mesmerizing pattern of the rain to look at his… Friend? Lover? Enemy? "Yes, Light?" L asked softly. 

"What's wrong? You've been sat there looking out the window for the last half hour and… well, you look really sad"

L forced a tight-lipped smile. He supposed he was sad in a way. The Kira case was inching ever closer to completion but L's instincts told him he would not be the one to solve it. He had asked Watari that morning to send a message to Wammy's House. He had chosen his successor after months of deliberating. 

"I am sorry. I was just thinking of unpleasant things" L admitted quietly, "Light, do you believe in fate?"

Light raised an eyebrow at the odd question before walking over to perch on the window seat. He opened his arms and smiled as L crawled into them and rested his head against his chest. L closed his eyes and listened intently to the beat of Light's heart. Love was the death of duty and he was ruined. He would rather his own heart stop than Light's. 

"Hmm. I suppose in a way I do. I think there are times in our lives when we meet someone or experience something that just feels predestined. You know that feeling of… what is it called?… deja-vu" Light gazed out of the window thoughtfully as he spoke, fingers slowly dragging through L's hair. "I cannot subscribe to the idea that every action one makes is predestined from birth. That seems ridiculous to me but I do believe each person has a rough path set out for them and that their actions and choices lead them to it"

L flicked his eyes up to Light's face and pressed closer. They'd been lovers for a little over a week now but the desire to be as close as physically possible to Light was overwhelming. They had yet to sleep together in the fullest sense of the word, but L was content. Light, in this mind-set at least, wanted him. It was more than he dared hope for.

"As usual we have similar ideas" L finally replied, "Another question for you, Light. Do you think one is able to deviate from the path set for them? Or do you think fate is something one cannot change?"

Light stopped stroking Ryuzaki's hair and lowered his arm to wrap around the Detectives waist. "I think in the end our paths are set, Ryuu"

_'Our paths are set. So be it then. If I cannot avoid my fate I can at least take a left turn and deviate a while'_ L suddenly twisted in Light's arms and kissed him. Light's mouth opened as he let out a startled gasp and L took advantage, brushing his tongue across Light's lips before delving into that sweet, warm mouth. 

He couldn't avoid fate but right now he wanted to turn his eyes from it. He wanted to lose himself in Light. 

L curled his fingers around Light's shoulder as he shifted closer, their tongues tangling together languidly. L could feel the firming of Light's flesh underneath him and sucked strongly on his tongue. He wanted Light. He wanted to feel that hard flesh inside him. 

"Ryuu" Light panted as they finally parted. Things were getting pretty heated. Somewhere in that kiss they had started grinding and pushing against one another. He could feel how hard Ryuzaki was and it made his own cock throb with sheer want. He was careful to always ensure Ryuzaki was certain he wanted contact of any kind since he was aware the Detectives ability to communicate clearly was sometimes difficult. 

"I want you, Light" L whispered against his lips. "I want to… I want you to… " he didn't have to actually say the words for Light to understand what he was trying to say. The atmosphere surrounding them was thick with surging arousal, nervousness and lust. 

"Are you certain, Ryuu?" Light asked softly, searching those wide gray eyes for any sign of hesitation. 

"Yes" L brushed their lips together gently. "I've never done this before, Light" he added quietly, "Have you?"

Light wrapped his arms around Ryuzaki and concentrated on calming himself a little. "Yes, I've slept with a few girls. I've never slept with a guy before though but I know the fundamentals of it… but… are you certain?"

L answered by detangling himself from Light's arms and climbing to his feet before walking to the bed. Light had no option but to follow, partly due to the chain connecting their wrists and partly due to the lust that was surging within him. 

A low rumble of thunder sounded and L felt his skin prickle. This was one of those unavoidable, monumental moments of life. This was his fate. Without a word spoken both young men undressed, eyes speaking volumes as they drank in the sight of each others naked flesh. Lightning split the sky open and Light marvelled at the way the burst reflected off L's soft, pale skin. 

Another rumble of thunder sounded and Light pulled L into his arms, lips meeting and clashing in searing wet kisses. They tumbled to the bed, frantic and desperate for one another as the kisses grew heated. Light used his position on top to rub against L's body and shuddered in pleasure at the feeling of L wrapping his long legs around his waist and pulling him closer. The heat coming from L's body was intoxicating and Light let out a low moan at the exquisite drag of their erections rubbing together. 

"Light!" L choked out a gasp as he felt the teen wrap his fingers around his cock and slowly pump the rigid flesh. Before Light L hadn't really considered himself a sexual being. Sure he had the occasional urges most young men had but they had been easy enough to push to one side. Now the only thing he could focus on was the pleasure spreading like wildfire through his veins and the insesan, aching need to come. 

"Ryuu, fuck, you feel so good" Light's voice had a throaty rasp to it and it made L shudder. He wanted to hear what Light sounded like on the verge of climax. He wanted to hear him moan out his name, his real name… 

_'Foolish'_ L mentally chided himself as Light stroked him harder, toying with the tip of his cock and smearing the pre-come down his shaft. "Aaah, Light! More…"

Light paused at that impassioned moan before he withdrew his hand (earning a whine of protest) and leaned down to kiss L again. "Can I suck it?"

L's eyes snapped open and he eagerly nodded his head. He'd fumbled through a blow job only yesterday and Light had seemed to love it despite his lack of experience. He could only imagine how amazing it would feel to have Light's mouth on him… 

The smile Light gave him was sultry and playful all at once and L sucked in a breath as Light gracefully scooted lower. He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt Light's tongue lap against a nipple. He wasn't sure if he should let the noises out he was swallowing down or not so opened his eyes to look at Light for direction. 

"You can moan, Ryuu. I want to hear your voice" Light's hot breath gusted over his nipple and L let out a small gasp as he felt his flesh harden and begin to throb faintly. Light, pleased at the sound, dipped his head and drew the hardening bud of flesh into his mouth. 

L jolted beneath him and let out the sexiest sound Light had ever heard. Halfway between a gasp and a whine, it went straight to his cock and made him throb with want. Light sucked on the nipple until L was squirming beneath him, his need for Light to go lower obvious. Light shimmied further down L's body and traced little patterns on the pale skin and quivering muscles of his stomach. He paused to glance up at L and licked his lips at the sight. L's face was a mask of pleasure. Lips parted and skin flushed and covered with a thin sheen of sweat, Light thought he'd never seen L look so beautiful. He'd never seen L look so real. 

Light decided he was going to do everything he could to make L feel good. He took the hard erection in hand and begin to lick at the head. The violent shudder that ran through L's body told him he was on the right track. He tongued the slit and felt a wave of excitement as more clear fluid seeped out onto his lips and tongue. It made him want more. He wanted to taste L completely. 

Feeling bold, Light drew his lips back over his teeth and opened his mouth. He drew the first few inches of L's cock into his mouth and sucked gently, eyes occasionally drifting up to watch L's face. 

"Oh god. Oh _God_, Light!" L's voice sounded desperate and Light knew he wouldn't have to wait long to taste his lover. He took the rest of L's cock in his mouth slowly and concentrated on breathing through his nose. He felt the odd urge to gag when the head of L's cock brushed the back of his mouth but he breathed through it. This was all about making L feel good. 

"Light! Fuck- _Please_! I can't! I'm-"

Light hummed his encouragement and suddenly L seized against him. He could feel the throbbing of L's cock before the first wave of slightly sweet come spurting into his mouth. 

L's body was frozen in an arch and he held a fist near his mouth, biting down on his knuckles as he spasmed and came in bucket-loads down Light's throat. L's permanently active brain actually stopped functioning and all he could feel and concentrate on was utter pleasure. For the first time in his life he allowed himself to just let go. 

Light would have grinned if he could but all he could do was swallow each mouthful and relish those sexy moans and shudders that proved L was in absolute ecstasy because of him.

Light tenderly licked L clean and pressed little kisses to his twitching belly muscles as he waited for L to come back down to earth. L was shivering and his eyes were closed, mouth open and sucking in oxygen like he was drowning. 

"Okay, Baby?" Light whispered as he scooted back up L's body to look at his face. "That wasn't too much for you, was it?"

L finally opened his eyes and Light was astonished to find them full of tears. 

"That was… indescribable." L reached for Light's face and gently stroked it with his bitten knuckles. "Thank you for showing me that, Light"

Light smiled at the sleepy, sated look on L's face and leaned in for a kiss. L shivered as he tasted himself on Light's tongue and realised he actually quite liked the intimacy of it. 

"Are you sure you want to continue?" Light asked softly. They stared at each other in the dim light for a long moment. Light was drinking L in, committing this important moment to memory. L was doing the same but for very different reasons. 

"Yes"

"Okay. It might hurt a bit at the beginning but I promise to be gentle. Do you have any lube?"

At L's blank look Light smiled and reached over to rummage in his bedside drawer. He didn't indulge in masturbation too often (he was chained to L afterall) but he was nineteen so _of course_ he had lube stashed away somewhere. He smiled in triumph as his fingers curled around the half empty tube. 

Light directed L to lift his hips and inserted a pillow beneath them. He wanted to be able to see L's face and be sure he wasn't hurting him. Light had slept with a few girls but they had been experienced and virtually no foreplay or preparation had been needed. He knew that with a guy things would be different. He needed to be careful not to hurt his partner. 

L watched as Light pumped out some of the lube onto his fingers. He tried to relax the best he could when he felt a finger slowly trace the ring of muscle at the entrance to his body. 

"Breath, you're okay, L" Light soothed before gently pushing in the tip. L's body immediately clamped down around him and L let out a small hiss of pain. "Breath" Light reminded. 

L let out a shaky breath that turned into a small moan as he felt his body loosen and accept Light's finger inside. It took a few moments of wriggling and slow movements but by the time Light had guided a second finger inside him L was rocking his hips back and aching to feel more. 

"Good?" Light asked with a sinful smile on his face. 

"So good!" L gasped. Light had crooked his fingers and brushed over what L suspected was his prostate. Pleasure, heavy and thick like molasses, slowly spread through him and numbed him from the inside out as Light diligently worked a third finger inside him. 

L arched his hips in eagerness and cried out softly as a flare of pleasure radiated through his core. Light was aiming for that sweet spot inside him over and over and L felt his cock throb against his stomach. 

"I think you're ready" Light's voice was husky and his eyes were glued to the erotic sight of L's hole eagerly swallowing his fingers. "Are you ready?"

Not trusting his voice, L nodded his head. He bit his lip at the sudden feeling of emptiness as Light removed his fingers but consoled himself with the fact that he would soon be feeling much more than just fingers. Soon Light was going to be _inside_ him. 

Light slicked up his cock with the rest of the lube and suddenly hesitated. He didn't have a condom. L was a virgin and he had always used protection in the past. Feeling a bit guilty but not wanting to stop, Light bit his lip in frustration. 

"I don't have a condom" Light finally muttered. "I'm clean and you're a virgin so is it alright?"

L cracked open an eye. He'd been so swept away with everything that had been happening he hadn't even thought about it. He'd seen Light's medical records and knew he was clean from any infections and besides… L knew he probably wouldn't have long to even care if he did contract something. 

"It's fine" L mumbled and shyly looked away. "Just… be gentle"

Light scooted closer and guided L's legs to wrap around his back. From this position he could stare at L's face and sink deep inside him. He guided the tip of his cock to the prepared entrance and slowly pressed the tip inside. He felt the first ring of muscle yield to him and bit down on his lip at the pleasure that sparked through him. L was tight and hot and Light knew it was going to feel amazing. 

"Shit" L whimpered, his breath burning in his lungs at the dull, sharp ache of penetration. Light paused to give him time to adjust before slowly inching forward again. L breathed through the pangs and the fullness (oh god, the _fullness_ he felt!) until Light came to a stop, hips flush against L's and cock completely encased in his body. 

_'Oh fuck. Oh fuck, this is insane. He's squeezing me! I can feel him throbbing. I'm not going to last two minutes!'_ Light thought as he desperately resisted the urge to thrust. L was panting beneath him, face strained as he struggled to master the alien sensations and emotions smashing through his body. 

"Light!" L called his name and dug his fingernails into his arms. He looked into Light's eyes and nodded his head. "You can move now"

Light shivered and flexed his hips. He established a rhythm of slow, shallow thrusts and watched as the strain slowly melted from L's face. A beautiful pink flush dusted his cheeks and Light sighed when he felt L's inner walls relax. 

"Mmm… Light, feels… strange but so good" L breathed, tingles racing through him. He concentrated on the feeling of that hard length slowly pushing out and in and began to pant with pleasure. His body was open and eagerly sucking Light inside and the throbbing he felt inside himself was gradually building. His cock leaked against his stomach and, experimentally, he squeezed a little around Light's cock. 

"Fuck! Ryuu!" Light hissed through gritted teeth at the sensation of that tight, hot body clenching around him. "I'm gonna come soon" he whimpered, his balls throbbing with his need to release. 

"Me too" L gasped. He'd read people's first times were often short affairs but he honestly didn't care. He just wanted to lie in Light's arms and bask in the knowledge that in this transient moment Light was his. 

Light began to pump faster, his breath speeding up at the slick sounds of his cock sliding in and out of L's body. L responded to the faster thrusts by digging his nails into the skin of Light's back and clinging on for dear life. 

The bed squeaked as the once gentle fucking became a mindless rut as the two young men strained and moved together, both gasping and crying out their pleasure as their climax grew ever close. 

"Gonna… oh god, gonna come!" Light warned, hips stuttering and then stilling abruptly as he was pushed over the edge. He threw his head back and screamed as he pumped his hips, his cock spurting out his release deep inside L's body. In the midst of his mind-shattering pleasure, Light reached for L's red, twitching cock and gave it a few fast pumps in time with his own thrusts. 

L spasmed beneath him and cried out his name as he came all over his chest and Light's hand. L was reeling at the feeling of warmth inside him and the sensation of Light's cock throbbing. He didn't care how loud he was being as he let out another loud cry as more come spurted out of him. It felt timeless and L sorely wished it really could be. 

Eventually the waves of pleasure crested and they slumped, sweaty and sated, into each other's arms. They panted for breath and listened to the storm still raging outside. Light found the strength to shift himself to pull out of L before wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close. 

L rested his head against Light's chest and listened to the rapid beating of his heart. 

L knew with absolute certainty that he loved Light Yagami. 

Light nuzzled his face against L's hair before letting out a soft, contented sound and falling asleep. L continued to lay quietly as he listened to Light snore. 

Silent tears trailed down his face and dropped onto Light's chest but L didn't move to wipe them away. In this moment he tried to believe he wasn't the Detective L. He was just a person lying in his lover's arms… 

It was unfortunate that L was never very good at deluding himself or losing himself in fantasies. 

He was lying in his lover's arms, yes, but the irrefutable truth remained:

His lover was fated to kill him. 


	3. Legacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L secures his legacy and appoints his heir.

The investigation into Yotsuba was gaining momentum and time marched relentlessly onwards. L was all to aware of the fleeting transient nature of life. Humans were born and thus they would die. Entire lifetimes could be lived in a day… 

L took a sip of tea to distract himself from such thoughts. It was too early to be so maudlin and he had a meeting with his successor to get over and done with. 

It was time to secure his legacy. 

"Ryuzaki, are you ready?" Watari inquired politely. L sighed and drained the last of his tea before nodding his head and climbing to his feet. He surprised Light and the others when he pulled out a key from his pocket and took off the cuff around his waist. 

"I have a meeting that requires privacy. I will put the cuff back on later" L mumbled. He couldn't meet Light's eyes. It was far too intimate. Flashes of the pleasure and the closeness from the previous night threatened to heat his skin and L couldn't risk that. 

"Wait, if you are so certain Light is Kira than surely you wouldn't take the cuffs off for any reason?" Aizawa, always quick to rally against L's actions, butted in. 

"Indeed. But this is an _extenuating_ circumstance" L drawled. "Please continue to profile the victims and ascertain their connection to Yotsuba. I won't be long"

"Ryuzaki-"

L moved away from Light's touch. He could not tolerate it right now. 

"I won't be long" L repeated before turning on his heel and walking to Watari's private office. Watari noted the charged atmosphere between detective and suspect but refrained from saying anything. He knew even if he tried L would simply change the subject and refuse to speak of it. His L was stubborn to a fault, a trait he'd probably picked up from himself. 

Once inside the office, Watari opened his laptop and a large Gothic 'N' appeared on the screen. 

"L. It is a pleasure to meet you"

L smiled at the irony. They were hardly meeting one another considering both were just letters on screens but he supposed since neither of them were using voice filters it could be classed as a sort of an informal 'meeting'. 

Besides, he knew who that soft, youthful voice belonged to. Nate River, codename Near, was the boy he had chosen to succeed him. He'd even seen a photo of the child (he was just eleven with a shock of white hair and deep gray eyes that reminded L of his own) before he had ordered that photo destroyed. 

"Hello, N. It is good to 'meet' you as well. I trust R has informed you of my decision to make you my heir?"

"He has and I am honored and happy to accept"

L worried his thumb over his lip as a strange question bubbled up inside him. "Near… do you realise how difficult your life will be when you succeed me?" He asked gently. "Do you understand being L is not an easy thing to be?" L felt the need to be brutally frank and honest with this boy. Being L wasn't likely to lead to a long happy life. He had to be certain Nate River was aware of the strains and sacrifice he was getting himself into. God knows L sometimes found the pressure of being L back breaking… 

"Yes" the soft voice rang with certainty. "I am aware of the power and the difficult decisions I will have to make. I am also prepared to die if needs be. I want to be your successor, L, and I want justice"

Watari nodded his head at the answer. In his opinion L and N were remarkably similar. 

"Very well then, Near. Upon my retirement, or more likely death, my wealth, title and power shall pass to you. I wish you every success"

The words tasted like ashes in his mouth as he spoke them. It was like he was signing his life away (well, he was technically) in preparation for the grave. 

"Thank you, L, I won't let you down"

'It is wrong of me to hope that you do, Near? When I die you will inherit the Kira investigation…'

"I know you won't" L answered firmly. "I would also advise you to work with the M's. The choice between the three of you was a difficult one to make and I believe their strengths will compensate your weaknesses and vice versa. You must work together, Near. Do you understand?"

"... Very well. I promise you I will work with the M's" came the quiet, almost reluctant, reply. 

"Good. I will be in touch with you soon, Near. Take care. L out" L terminated the connection and turned to the man who had raised him. "I believe there is a 86% chance I will die before the Kira case is concluded, Watari"

Watari offered a small smile and shook his head. "Hush, child, you don't know that. Naming your heir is just a precaution, that's all. You are protecting your legacy and-"

L let Watari's words wash over him. He hoped when it did happen Watari would be spared. Near would need him and L honestly didn't like the idea of Roger stepping into Watari's shoes. 

He didn't like the idea of his most trusted friend dying full stop but he knew Watari was just as stubborn as he was. The man had been willing to risk his life from day one and would continue to do so until he did pay that price or the Kira case was closed. 

Either way, time was running out and L would be damned if his legacy was inaction and cowardice. 

He would continue to investigate Yotsuba and steal his little moments of happiness with Light. 

It was all he could do.


	4. Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light asks L what his name is. L doesn't tell him but he does gain a special new name from Light...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a bit of fluff before the Angst starts once again!

It was early Thursday morning when Light asked it. They were lying together, naked limbs entwined and sweat coating their bodies, after making love. L had just started dozing off when Light propped himself up on his elbow and stared down at him intently. 

"Ryuzaki…"

"Mmm?" L mumbled sleepily. He wasn't in the mood to talk. His body felt languid and he was so relaxed after that vigerous workout he was convinced sex was the cure to his insomnia. Too bad he hadn't met Light sooner… 

"Will you ever tell me your real name?"

His peace scattered abruptly like people scurrying for cover when it rained. L's eyes shot open and he gazed up at Light, his heart pounding in his chest at that dangerous question. 

"My name is my only shield against Kira, whom I believe you used to be. Why do you think I would tell you it, Light?" L kept his tone neutral as he stared into hurt amber eyes. He wanted to say more but he held his tongue. Right now Light wasn't Kira, he was certain of it, but his gut told him there was a high possibility of his memories (and power) returning to him. He didn't know how or why but one thing L did know was that his instincts were never wrong. 

"Even if I was Kira, like you're so convinced, I am not him now!" Light snapped in reply, "Dammit, Ryuu, don't you realise that I lo…that I really care for you?"

L's eyes widened at the slip and he sat up, sleepiness deserting him at once. "You were going to say love then" he pointed out quietly. "Do you love me, Light?"

Light huffed but nodded his head. "I didn't want to tell you in case you felt… I don't know, overwhelmed or something, but yes, I'm certain I am falling in love with you and I'm certain it hurts not knowing the name of the man I love"

Words didn't really make much of an impact on L. He'd been raised amongst suave, silver-tongued liars after all. Words were usually meaningless drivel but Lights were not. Light's words enthralled and interested him like no one else's could. 

"I… am sorry, Light. I do wish I could tell you what it was but I can't. You know I can't. One day… one day I will tell you"

Light let out another little huff, sounding more disappointed this time, and L caught his chin before he could look away. L held him firm and stared into his eyes. "I promise one day you will know my name Light"

Light smiled faintly. It would have to be enough. Deep down he feared L was correct and he had been Kira. If he was in L's position he would want to guard his name too. 

"Besides, you already do call me a name only you are permitted to use" L stroked Light's cheek, aching to see that smile back on his face. "Ryuu"

"Yeah but I only call you Ryuu when we're alone, my dragon" Light teased, unable to stop the small smile tugging at his lips at the affectionate nickname. L had been both delighted and mildly offended when Light pointed out Ryuu was very similar to the word for 'Dragon' in Japanese. 

"Then you should call me it around the others as well" L decided. "They won't realise there is a deeper meaning to it. They'll probably just assume it's a friendly shortening of my 'name' anyway"

"Alright then" Light brushed his lips across L's in a tender kiss, "My Ryuu"

L smiled and wrapped his arms around Light's shoulders, lips instinctively seeking to draw out and deepen the kiss. 

L knew it was approaching 7 am, therefore it was time to get up but those kisses and the stirring flesh poking into his belly made the decision for him. Work could wait a little.. 

(Later that morning) 

"Here's your coffee, Ryuu"

Souichiro Yagami's eyebrows nearly shot up into his hairline as he watched his son hand Ryuzaki a cup of coffee. Was it his imagination or did the pair of young men seem substantially closer these last few weeks? And what was with the sudden use of a nickname? 

"Thanks, Light" L treated Light to a small smile that had Matsuda (also snooping on the interaction between them) scratching his head. Where was the 'Kun?' 

"Um, Ryuzaki? Why did Light-Kun just call you 'Ryuu'?" Matsuda asked timidly. 

L turned his head to the rookie cop and adopted a haughty expression. "Because I told him he could"

Matsuda blinked in surprise. "Can I call you that too?"

L's eyes flashed with what could have been amusement and Souichiro detected a smugness to the smile on his son's face as L shook his head. 

"No. Only Light may call me that name. Now get back to work"

And just like that the topic of Ryuzaki's new name was dropped. 

Not that it stopped Matsuda and Souichiro spending the remainder of the day puzzling over the new closeness between Ryuzaki and Light.They both came to the same conclusion: where the young men in a relati onship with one another? It was preposterous… 

Right? 


	5. Apple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L makes the link between Yotsuba and Light.

Light's jaw dropped as the words flashed across the screen:

_ **L, do you know Shinigami still love apples? ** _

"What on earth does that mean?" Aizawa scoffed as he glanced over at the monitor. "Someone at Yotsuba needs their head checked out"

L made a small 'hmm' of agreement, his mind already working a mile a minute as theories unfolded before him. The first Kira (Light) had taunted him with a similar message ('L, do you know Gods of death love apples?') so what was the link between Light and Yotsuba? Light had been the one to pick up on Yotsuba and he had been zealous in his pursuit of leads and investigating the company. 

Was it possible Light's memories and the retrievement of them were linked to Yotsuba? 

L dragged his thumb across his lip, deep in thought and unseeing of all around him. Matsuda opened his mouth to ask a question but shut it again when Light shook his head. 

"He's thinking, Matsuda-San"

Matsuda flushed and nodded his head. He wasn't a genius like Ryuzaki or Light and didn't even claim to understand half of what they spoke about, so he slunk back to his desk with a dejected sigh. He had been about to warn them that a visit from Misa Amane was imminent bht-

"Liiiight!" Misa threw open the doors and bounced into the room. She'd been booked up with shoots and promos back to back for the last few weeks so L and Light had almost forgotten about her as they indulged in their new relationship. 

But now the bubble had burst. Light peeled Misa off him with a stern rebuke but the giggly model stood on her tip-toes and pressed a lip-gloss coated kiss to his cheek anyway. 

L snapped out of his thoughts and glared mildly at Misa and the sparkly pink smudge left on Light's cheek. He did not like that one bit and Light picked up on it at once. 

"Misa!" Light repeated, sterner this time, "I asked you to ring me when you were heading back, we're busy with the investigation and-"

Misa pouted and wrapped her arm around Light's. "It's always work work work with you, Light. God, how long has this whole Kira thing dragged on for anyways? You need a break! Hey, Ryuzaki, can Light and I go on a date today?"

"No" L replied flatly, his attention once again fixed on that damn message. 

"Awww! Why not?" Misa stamped her foot, "It's not fair! Light is _my_ boyfriend and he spends all his time with _you_"

Matsuda, ever the fan of drama, perked up and shuffled closer to witness the domestic at close quarters. For the life of him he didn't understand Light and Misa's relationship. She was cute and adorable and a girl any guy (including him) would want on his arm yet Light barely even looked at her. Neither of them could remember when they met or why they had really started dating either… 

"I'm very sorry that Light's efforts in trying to capture a prolific serial killer who has murdered one thousand six hundred and twelve people upsets your social plans, Miss Amane" L sniped acidly, "Let's all hope this 'Kira thing' gets wrapped up super quick so you and Light can go on those all important dates of yours, right?"

Aizawa and Mogi shared a surprised look. Ryuzaki was often a sarcastic bastard but he only went quite so hard when he was really pissed. Unfortunately Misa Amane possessed all the intelligence of a sponge and could never pick up on his scathing sarcasm. 

Silence echoed around the room until Watari cleared his throat and asked if anyone would like some tea. 

Confused at L's response, Misa scampered over to her bags and produced a large gift wrapped hamper. Inside was a variety of shiny red apples. 

"I was given it as a thank you gift" Misa explained as she unwrapped the hamper and began handing the apples out to the Task Force, "But I'm not actually fond of them so I brought them in for you guys!"

"Thank you, Misa!" Matsuda smiled doopily as she handed him his apple. 

"You're welcome, Matsui" Misa tinkled back. When she reached Light and L she paused. Why were they just staring at one another like that? 

"Thanks" Light muttered as he accepted his. 

"Here ya go, you mean old grump" Misa muttered as she passed Ryuzaki his. 

L stared down at the apple in his hand before he passed it to Light. 

"Shinigami may love apples but I do _not_"


	6. Puzzle

The Task Force gathered as Wedy announced she had successfully planted the bugs throughout Yotsuba. They knew they had a long night of surveillance work ahead of them and the pungent smell of coffee was already filling the room as the team gulped it down in preparation. 

"Excellent work, Wedy" L praised, "I will call you if I need anything else"

"I'm Sure ya will, L. Wedy out" Wedy drawled saucily before cutting the communication. 

L was pleased to discover Wedy's safe cracking and bug-planting skills were as stellar as always as he quickly brought up the various feeds from the cameras. He wasted no time in delegating floors to each team to monitor. He and Light would monitor the top five floors where most of the important meetings were held, the chief and Watari would monitor the next five floors, Mogi and Aizawa the next five and so on. Matsuda was stuck working on his own but no one expected him to spot anything of use anyway. He had the attention span of a gnat and already looked half asleep even though it was only ten-thirty. 

L and Light settled down in their chairs, coffee and candy to hand, and began their stint of observation. Since everyone's attention was focused on their screens they took the opportunity to sit closer than necessity dictated and press their thighs together. It was a simple thing but L found he craved the touch. He had a feeling his time with Light was drawing to a close and he was scrambling for any touch, any sign of affection, while he still could. 

"I love you" L whispered softly, eyes fixed on Light as they glanced at one another.

The smile on Light's face could power an entire city as he whispered, 'I love you too' in reply.

Their moment was cut short when Higuchi suddenly caught their attention. The man looked frazzled (which was most unusual for the suave businessman) and was rushing through the corridors towards his office. Like hawks, L and Light's eyes were fixed on the camera feed from his office at once. 

As soon as the door was locked behind him Higuchi yanked off his tie and flung his coat onto a chair. 

"Rem! I need to speak to you"

"Rem?" L murmured, interest piqued as Higuchi proceeded to talk to (seemingly) thin air. 

"They're all after them! They all want a Death Note, heh, course they do. But they can't because the power is all mine. I don't need any of them. Bring it to me, Rem, it's time I got rid of the lot of them!"

"Death Note" L tasted the words on his tongue. He felt a spark of 'Yes, this is it' and turned his head to Light. He was diligently making notes, a small frown on his face as Higuchi continued to talk to 'Rem'

Higuchi threw himself onto his couch and poured himself a drink. L and Light watched, transfixed, as the safe on the wall opened by itself and a small leather-bound book floated over to the reclining man. 

"Please tell me I'm not hallucinating" Light's voice was strIned and his eyes were huge as he absorbed the impossible happening right in front of him. 

"You are not hallucinating. Higuchi is Kira and I believe with a 99% certainty that he is conversing with a Shinigami"

A hush fell over the room and the team scrambled to gather around L and Light's screens. Jaws dropped all around as the team watched the safe door shut by itself and Higuchi start to write a list of names. 

L zoomed in on the notebook and read the neat, spindly handwriting. Higuchi was writing names and those names belonged to his colleagues. 

"Light, I want you to monitor those people whose names he is writing and inform me if they die. Watari, contact Aiber and Wedy and inform them I want a bomb placed in Yotsuba HQ. We will need it to create a diversion. Yagami-San…" L paused in his orders and looked at the chief. He looked exhilarated and excited for this moment. This was the breakthrough he had been waiting for and L suspected he felt vindicated that his son wasn't Kira. 

"Yes, Ryuzaki?" Souichiro prompted as the silence dragged on. Distantly L thought he could hear the sound of bells ringing… 

"Gather the police force together. We are going to raid Yotsubsa"

"When?" Matsuda asked, excitable as a puppy. 

"Tonight, Matsuda-San" L replied firmly.

The team scrambled to their posts as the preparations began. Light announced half an hour later that there had been a horrendous 'accident' and that all six members of Yotsuba's elite had been killed in a robbery gone wrong. The group had been dining in an upmarket restaurant when a masked gunman had entered, robbed the restaurant's till and opened fire at the occupants. 

_'It's the notebook. He is killing people by writing their names in it. If I had not seen it myself I would not have believed it…'_ L's mind was racing and his heart was beating frantically in his chest. The puzzle was finally coming together and he knew very soon he would have the answers he was looking for. 

"Anything I can do?" Matsuda piped up. L stared down into his empty coffee cup. He wasn't one for symbolism but it was a fairly accurate representation of how he currently felt. He had no choice but to finish what he had started and raid Yotsuba. He would arrest Higuchi and get that 'Death Note' into his possession but he knew by achieving this he would be sealing his own doom… 

"Get me another coffee" L finally answered. 

Matsuda's shoulders dropped but he took the cup and left to make some more coffee. In the hustle and bustle Light was able to lean close and brush his fingers against L's arm. 

"We're nearly there, Ryuu" Light's voice was breathless with excitement. 

L found he had nothing to say. The bells were screaming in his ears. Light frowned at him in concern and L felt his heart ache. How he hated to see that frown on Light's face. He would try and make him smile one last time.

"Ever flown in a helicopter, Light?"

Light slowly shook his head, a small grin on his lips as L stood up and uncuffed the chain connecting them. It was strange but he actually found himself missing it… 

"Well, how about we go for a ride then?"

"You can fly a helicopter, Ryuu?"

L's smile didn't quite reach his eyes as he nodded his head. "There is a lot Light doesn't know about me"

Light chuckled and brushed his fingers over L's arm again. "Well, I have a lifetime to learn, right?"

L wasn't sure how to respond to that. His initial response had been 'No, Light, you don't' but he was saved from replying when Watari announced the police were mobilized and were awaiting L's order to move. 

The bells were deafening as L issued the command to storm Yotsuba. He would ponder over what the bells might mean later (even though deep down he was certain he knew what they represented) right now he had a puzzle, the greatest puzzle of his life, to solve. 

Unbeknownst to either he nor Light, the numbers floating above his h ead shimmered and changed. 

L Lawliet had just two more weeks to live... 


	7. Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light regains his memory of being Kira and grapples with what he knows comes next: Killing Ryuu while L knows the begining of the end is upon him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..... 😭😭😭😭
> 
> That's all.

L knew it was over the instant Light's insistent hand reached out for the Death Note. It was the scream that made the blood run cold in his veins. He'd never heard such a scream in his life and he knew with 100% certainty Light had just regained his memory. He'd just witnessed the rebirth of Kira. 

The air inside the cockpit of the helicopter felt stifling and it was all L could do was to breath. In. Out. Oxygen filling his lungs. The blue glare of police cars and the white, hulking thing looming over a handcuffed Higuchi filled his vision and he felt utterly numb with disbelief. 

"..." L didn't answer as Light said he was going to check the names. Instead he returned his gaze to Higuchi and waited. Sure enough, in less than a minute the man was writhing on the ground. His face was red and he was crying out in pain and L knew that Kira had struck again. 

Light had struck again.

L found he had nothing to say. His own heart beat rapidly in his chest as if in sympathy for Higuchi. Would it hurt when it was his turn? He would soon find out. 

"We should get this back to HQ" Even Light's voice seemed different now. Colder. More calculated.

"Yes. We should" L mumbled. He plucked the Death Note from Light's hands (noting the faint glimpse of irritation on his face) and handed it to Watari. Watari locked it up in his briefcase and L felt a keen sense of relief the damned thing was out of sight. He'd never really given much credit to sensing things or feeling auras (or the supernatural in general) but he was certain he could feel that book was evil. 

"The Shinigami will probably follow us if it is attached to the Death Note" 

L let out a soft sigh. The Shinigami. How could such things exist? It was one thing to theorize the possibility of their existence but quite another to actually see them with one's own eyes. 

"Yes, you are correct, Light" L closed his eyes at the sight of Light's (Kira's) smug smile. "Let's head back. We've got what we've came for"

Light's reply was almost a purr. "Yes we have…"

****************

Having a Shinigami hanging around HQ was, obviously, very distracting. L was flicking through the Death Note but had to keep stopping when he felt that creepy yellow eye settle on him. He felt like he was being sized up. Perhaps it knew his time was running out? Perhaps it would kill him? 

L had to admit he would prefer that to Light writing his name down. Still, he had a job to do and that was to prove to the officials of the world that a notebook that could kill people was a legitimate thing. That meant testing the rules because a few jumped out at him as utterly fake. 

The 13 day rule was fabricated. It just didn't make sense in connection to the other rules at all. As L pondered on it he came to the conclusion that Light must have included it to validate his innocence. He'd been locked up for 50/days so how could he have been Kira without being killed himself after not writing a name down after 13 days? 

Souichiro and the Team were jubilant that Light's 'innocence' had finally been proven. Matsuda was even bold enough to insinuate L should apologize to Light for being wrong. Naturally Light was demure and said it wasn't necessary and that he was just happy to be in the clear. 

L left the team to their celebrations and went up to the roof. The sky was leaden and clouds, heavy with rain, were rapidly darkening the sky. 

L sat down and waited for the rain to fall. 

****************

Light smiled along as Matsuda prattled away but his thoughts were elsewhere. They were fixed firmly on L, the man he loved and the man who was his enemy. 

_'Why did I have to fall in love with him? That was never part of the plan… I am going to have to kill him. I have to kill him. I cannot achieve my dream of creating the New World with L still in it… but… a world without L will feel so very empty…'_

Light propped his chin in his hand and thought back over all of the sweet kisses and strange, mournful behavior L had been displaying the last few weeks. Was it possible L knew he was to die soon? 

_'Do you believe in fate, Light?'_

Light closed his eyes as he remembered the almost haunted look in L's eyes as he'd asked that question. L had to sense something was about to happen but if that was the case then why wasn't the Detective trying to prosecute him anymore? They had made love for the first time that night. Light could remember it with vivid detail. The flashes of lightning illuminating L's pale skin, the taste of him, the way his body shuddered beneath him… It was something he would never forget. It was burned into his memory and etched into his heart for eternity. 

_'Love is the death of duty, Light'_

Understanding dawned in Light's eyes as that memory surfaced in his mind's eye. He and L were curled up on the window seat and L was in one of his strange, pensive moods again. L had whispered the quote to him before hurrying his face into Light's neck. 

_'I will always have the memory of you, Ryuu. I love you. I love you… but you have to die. You will be my ultimate sacrifice for the New World'_

Light ignored the others and went to the roof. He tried to feel elation that his plan had worked and that he was once again set to win the game. 

But with each step he took towards his Ryuu his heart ached. 

Killing Ryuu would mean killing a part of himself as well… 


	8. Rival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light both struggle to accept their new reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a bit ahead as I have a few busy days ahead of me so probably won't get around to posting much. 
> 
> Enjoy! And please leave a comment/Kudos, I love reading them ❤

L sighed as he stared into the luke-warm cup of tea Misa had made. He wondered why the hell he was even in the girl's apartment. He was no longer chained to Light yet Light had insisted he come with him to Misa's little tea party. 

"Don't you want to be there to keep an eye on your _rival_?" Light/Kira had teased. 

"Rival?" L raised an eyebrow at Light. "She is no such thing. It is glaringly obvious that you have no affection for her whatsoever, Light"

"But I have affection for you" Light was all warm, sweet smiles and addicting kisses. "I love you, Ryuu. You do know that, don't you?"

_'Yes, I believe part of you still loves me. Not that it will be enough to prevent you from killing me'_ L thought as he nodded his head. "Yes, Light, I know you love me" 

"I will end things with Misa soon, I promise. It's just with the case and her modeling work I don't think it's the right time yet" Light explained gently. His actual reason was that he had ordered Misa to go and dig up a very special package from the orchards. He wanted Misa to tell him L's name… 

L was brought back to the present as Misa let out a loud squeal and nuzzled up against Light. L wondered how Light managed to maintain such a stoic expression. Obviously his acting skills were excellent. 

"Right? Ryuzaki?"

L flicked his eyes to Misa at the mention of his alias. "Pardon, Amane-San, what did you say?" he asked in a painfully polite monotone. 

Misa huffed. "I said, isn't it wonderful that my Light has been cleared of being Kira!"

L simply stared at her. There was a change in her as well. Her smile was too bright and there was a hardness to her eyes that had not been there before. Perhaps the second Kira was once again in possession of her Death Note too? 

"Oh yes, Wonderful" L drawled. He left his tea and announced that he had better things to be doing with his time before he left the apartment. Let Light deal with Misa by himself. L was sick to his back teeth of those smug smirks… 

Later that evening, L was surprised to find a little heart-shaped box of candy on his (their) bed. He picked it up and looked at Light. 

"I'm sorry, Ryuu, I shouldn't have made that stupid rival comment. It was childish of me" Light/Kira walked towards him and enfolded him in a warm embrace. "There is no one who could ever rival you, Ryuu. No one"

L wrapped his arms around Light and breathed him in. The bells were ringing loudly in his head again. He was standing on the edge of a precipice and he knew either way he went would lead to certain death… 

But he had to test the validity of that thirteen day rule. Not for his sake but for Near's. He had already secretly transferred all of his data on the Kira case to the boy but out of misguided loyalty (or stupidity) he had not named Light Yagami as his lead suspect. 

"Ryuu, I want you" Light whispered into his ear. "I want to fuck you"

L didn't answer with words but his hands moved to unbutton Light's shirt. Clothes were shed between demanding kisses and L realised with a start this would be the first time they had been intimate since Light had regained his memories. He knew it would be different somehow and he was right. Light's kisses were harsher, more demanding and his hands were sinfully sensual as they glided over his flesh. 

L choked out a gasp as he felt Light's fingers curl around his cock and begin to stroke him. "Ahn! Light!" 

"I'm the only one who can make you feel this way, Ryuu" Light panted into his ear as he continued to jerk him off at a blistering pace. "You love me" it wasn't a question.

"Yes! I love you" L's toes curled and he bucked his hips, pleasure coiling in his gut as his climax approached rapidly. Light pulled away from him and grinned. 

"Bed. Now"

Later, L would wonder just why he felt so submissive when Light/Kira was concerned, but right then his feet had moved of their own accord and had taken him over to the bed before he was fully conscious of even moving. 

Demanding kisses and teeth nipping at flesh. Fingers pressing inside his body. Husky growls and bodies straining to get closer as Light pushed himself inside him. The sex was almost violent as Light plunged inside him, L's vision swimming with tears as he buried his face into the pillow and moaned loudly. Light took him fast and hard from behind and L had never felt so possessed as he did in that moment. He shuddered as he felt Light's cock throb inside him and then the splash of warmth deep inside him. As usual, Light's climax forced him over the edge as well. 

He came with colours bursting behind his tightly closed eyes. Pleasure flared through him and for one fleeting moment he felt utterly content. Light was slumped on top of him, cock still inside him, and panting for breath. 

L allowed himself to relax and just enjoy the moment. He soaked up the warmth of Light's skin and the satiated sigh Light breathed across his neck. 

"I love you, Ryuu…"

The breath caught in L's throat and he squeezed his eyes closed. 

It felt like he was drowning. 


	9. Mafia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light plans to kill L even as his heart warns him against it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😭 Why did you have to touch the Death Note again, Light? Wwwwhhhhhhhyyyy... 😭

Misa sighed into the embrace and clutched at Light as though terrified he would fade away before her eyes. She finally understood who she was. She was the second Kira and it was her divine duty to help Light achieve his glorious vision: A world filled with good, happy people.

"I dug it up" Misa's lips barely moved as she pressed a kiss to Light's neck. "I couldn't remember it so I had to trade again"

Mindful of the ever present cameras, Light tilted his head just so. From this angle he was certain he was just out of reach. 

"What is it?"

"L Low-Light…I think?" Misa produced a slip of paper from her handbag and passed to Light whilst chirping, "This is his number! Definitely give him a call, Light, he is amazing at what he does!"

_'Please tell me she did not write his name down!'_ Light nearly had a heart attack himself at the sight of that small slip of paper. He breathed an audible sigh of relief when he saw a pink love heart pattern in the corner. It was from one of her other notebooks. 

"Thanks, I will" Light pocketed the note and, trying not to appear too eager, bid her goodbye. 

Once he was shot of her (and Rem, that vindictive bitch) he returned to his room and pulled out the slip of paper. 

_ **L Lawliet. ** _

"L" Light breathed, a demonic smile crossing his face. All this time L had been hiding in plain sight. His surname was unusual. Light knew in Japanese it was pronounced 'Low-Light' (the irony was not lost on him) but in English and French it was pronounced Law-Lee-Et. Law. Light… 

Light was certain there was no more of a fitting name for his Ryuu. No. His L. 

He sat down, overcome with emotion. He could end it right now. He could text Misa and order her to write those 8 letters down… 

"No. Not yet…" Light glanced over to where Ryuk was lounging on the bed and watching him with sharp, untreated eyes. Why just kill L when he could engineer his death to further his advantage even more? 

He knew L knew the 13 day rule was fake. He knew L would probably test it. What if he could use that test to make Rem write down L's name instead? 

"Light you are so boring!" Ryuk complained, "I miss being able to play Mario Kart and eat apples!"

Light tapped two fingers against his desk in response, trusting the Shinigami would understand what he meant. 

Ryuk would have to wait another two days until he had had enough time to formulate his plan to get rid of Rem and… (his heart ached at the thought of it) L. 

**************

"The Mafia?!" Matsuda squeaked in shock. "How the hell do you expect them to assist in the Kira Investigation?"

L smirked at the office idiot. "They've actually proved far more useful than you have, Matsuda, but if you must know Watari has brokered a deal with them. Two of Japan's most prolific Mafia associates will be given a piece of the Death Note and a name to write. The name will belong to someone already on death row. Then we will wait 13 days to see if the rule is valid or, as I believe, fake"

Light caught Rem's eye and the Shinigami glared at him in silent understanding. 'Write' Light mouthed to her and then gave the tiniest of nods in L's direction. 

_'You are a despicable human being, Light-Yagami. I know what it is you are expect of me. You know I will do anything to keep Misa safe and that includes killing your enemy… and your lover. Even love will not prevent you from reaching for your ambition, will it? Very well, it is out of love that I will do this. Not for you but for my dear Misa…'_

"Yes, two days from now" Watari was speaking into the phone and Rem glanced over to Light. 

Light gave a tiny nod of his head. In two days time he would give the order for L Lawliet to die. The Mafia would be blamed for his death and Light would do everything he could to divert the Task Force's suspicions away from himself and Misa (who was finally useful again) towards the Mafia. 

Light's thoughts scattered and he flinched slightly when he suddenly found himself pinned by a dark and knowing gaze… 

*****************

That evening Light returned home for a brief visit. He sat down to dinner and tried to pretend like everything was normal. Sayu was teasing him about Misa and Light was teasing her about her crush on her classmate but it all felt so hollow. 

He needed to get back to HQ and see L. He needed to drink him in and commit him to memory before it was too late. For the thousandth time since he regained his memory he cursed L's stubbornness and defiance. If only he could reconcile himself to his rule he could live and they could be together… 

Light thanked his mother for the dinner and promised to visit again soon. He did his best to ignore Ryuk as the irritating Shinigami yapped in his ear all the way to the subway station outside the block Kira HQ was situated. 

"I reckon you ain't gonna do it. You know his name and you haven't written it down. You're in _wuv_ with L" Ryuk cackled, becoming incorporeal so he could poke his head out of the train doors. 

Light clenched his teeth together in irritation. How little faith Ryuk had in him. He would kill L, even though it would destroy him to do so. His vision for the New world required such a sacrifice and he was prepared to make it. 

_'But what if he is right… what if I can't kill him?'_

The thought was unsettling and Light felt a hot wave of anxiety run through him. It was like his head and heart were doing battle. His head told him L's death would pave the way to a glorious future. His heart told him L's death would be the death of him as well. 

_'Even so. I _ _ **have ** _ _to do it!'_

Light scanned himself back into HQ and immediately went in search of L. He was surprised when Watari informed him L had taken the evening off and was currently bathing and did not want to be disturbed. 

"Even by me?" Light asked in surprise. 

Watari's eyes narrowed faintly. He didn't know what was going on but his instincts told him L had been hurt and that the boy in front of him was the cause of it. 

"_Especially_ by you" Watari finally answered before turning away to continue tidying up the office. 


	10. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L... Dies... 😭😭😭

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> L is still going to be the prominent character in this fic... Just in a different kind of form... Seriously, I hate writing and even acknowledging canon but I hope the twist will be worth it.

It was the evening of November the 5th. It was raining once again and L, once again, found himself standing on the roof. The bells thundered in his ears. They had been ringing incessantly since the moment he had opened his eyes that morning. 

Deep down he knew that today was the day his life would come to an end. Earlier he had walked into Watari's office and, without saying a word, embraced the old man. He had felt his surprise in the stiffness of the old man's shoulders but he had returned his embrace warmly. 

"Ryuzaki, what's wrong?" Watari asked kindly, perturbed at the sorrow etched across L's face. 

"I love him, Quillish"

Watari startled at the use of his real name. L only ever used it in extremely serious circumstances. Watari knew exactly who L was talking about: Light Yagami. 

"Surely that is something to smile about?" Watari, trying to be positive in the face of such bleak sorrow, smiled thinly. 

"It is not. My love will be the Death of me. Love is the death of duty, remember?"

Watari closed his eyes at those words and found himself thinking of his long departed wife and child. Love had not been the Death of duty then. It was their needless, senseless deaths (murders) that had driven him to establish Wammy's House and the L Programme. He fed off his sorrow, anger and regret and turned them into the young man that stood before him now. 

L was not good. He was not perfect but he was justice. 

"Inform me if there are any developments. I am going to the roof" L hesitated a moment before reaching out to touch Watari's wrinkled hand. "I love you, Quillish"

Watari's heart skipped a beat. That almost sounded like a farewell? Before he could question it, L had already left the room. 

"Ryuu?!"

L was torn from his memories of his last goodbye with Watari and turned to look at his lover. Light looked impeccable as always, not a hair out of place and very much unlike himself. L figured he probably resembled a drowned rat as his hair hung limply in his eyes. Between the pounding of the rain and ringing of the bells L struggled to hear what Light was saying. He cupped a hand to his ear. 

Light repeated himself but those bells were still tolling too loudly. L exaggerated the gesture and Light huffed before stomping over to him. His face was set in a grimace as the pounding rain soaked his clothes. 

"I said what are you doing out here by yourself?" Light sounded exasperated and L couldn't blame him. This game really was getting irksome now. 

"Nothing in particular it's just… I hear the bell"

Light blinked at him. "The bell?"

"Yes. The bell has been ringing extremely loudly today. It's very distracting. Perhaps it is for a wedding or a… " L let the words die. He didn't need to finish that sentence, he knew Light knew what he was talking about. 

Somehow the conversation turned into bickering (it was inevitable, L couldn't deal with any more lies, not now when his life was nearly at an end) and so L took his moment to say what was on his mind and ask the question that had been burning him up inside: "Has there ever been a moment since you were born that you have told the truth, Light?"

Light spouted off something utterly expected and so damn predictable that L tipped his head back and laughed. His laughter hung in the air around them and even to L's ears it sounded a little mad. Light's face was a perfect mask but inside he was reeling. L knew he was going to die and he knew he was the cause of it! Why was L laughing then?! 

"You said you loved me, Light? Who the hell lies about something like **_that_**?" L spat out. He felt a sudden surge of anger and snatched at Light's shirt. He yanked him down to glare into his eyes. "You are such a liar, Light Yagami" L surged upwards and kissed him. In the rain they clung to one another, teeth, tongue and lips clashing as they indulged in what they both knew to be their last kiss.

L broke off the kiss but did not pull away. Instead, he rested his forehead against Light's so he could gaze deeply into those beautiful, lying eyes. 

Light's eyes widened with unfeigned shock. He'd never seen such blazing hatred in L's eyes before… 

"I… I do love you, Ryuu-" he began, feeling a desperate need to assure L his feelings were genuine. He had to know before he died that he loved him! 

"I made you a promise to tell you my real name, can you remember that, Light? I suspect you already know it. My name is L Lawliet. It is either already written down or will soon be written in the Death Note. I know you are Kira. I have always known. And whether you claim to love me or not tonight is the night I will die and I will die by your hand!" L released Light's shirt with a vicious shove and walked away from him. His jeans and shirt stuck to his skin as he moved and his entire body felt chilled. 

"L! Wait!" 

L turned at the raw desperation in Light's voice. Light ran to him and grabbed him, arms encircling around him from behind and crushing the life out of him. L stiffened when he realised Light was sobbing into his shoulder. 

"I love you! Dammit, L, I love you! Do you think I want to do this? Do you think I want to live in a world without you?"

L swallowed the lump of emotion in his throat. He was about to die and Light expected him to give him comfort? That spark of anger blazed into an inferno and L reared back, his foot shooting out as he kicked Light dead in that lying mouth. 

"You selfish fuck! I know who you are and I have known for months you are going to kill me! And yet I've done nothing to stop it because I fucking love you! Don't you dare lie to me in my last moments you utter bastard!" L was screaming, his throat hoarse and his eyes burning with tears but he had never felt so alive. He stormed away from Light, vision blurred by tears and rain. The bells chimed loudly but he didn't care anymore. 

He was ready. 

"L! I love you! I swear to you I love you. Please believe me!" 

L didn't turn this time. He choked down a sob and slammed the door behind him. 

Time seemed to slow down. He saw Light race after him and heard the shrill ringing of his mobile. Numbly, he plucked his phone out of his pocket and answered it. 

"Yes?... I understand. I will be down now. Thank you, Watari…" L bit his lip against the sudden urge to add 'I love you!' No. He had already said his goodbye to Watari. He didn't have the strength to do it again. 

"L!"

"Will it be you, Light? Or will it be the Shinigami?" L tossed over his shoulder. 

"I-I don't want to but I have to" Light stuttered and L understood. It would be the Shinigami then. 

L paused, hand hovering over the scanner to the main office. He took a deep, shuddering breath and turned to Light once more. Once he was inside that room he would not look at him. Not until the end, anyway. Despite his anger and his hurt he wanted Light's face to be the last thing he saw. 

"You don't get to say that. You don't get to make this about you, Kira-Sama" L snarled. He yanked open the door and strode through it. The numbers above his head catapulted towards zero. 

"We've had confirmation that the 13 day rule is ready to go ahead" Watari announced with a meaningful nod of his head. L nodded back and perched in his seat. He took a last sip of tea and forced himself to eat a mouthful of pudding. He didn't see the point in imbibing too much considering it would never have the chance to be digested. Soon he would be dead. The bells told him that as much as the Shinigami's cold stare did. 

Light's face was almost serene when he entered the main office. If anyone was wondering why both Ryuzaki and Light were dripping wet no one dared mention it. Nor did they mention his rapidly swelling jaw. 

Thunder crashed and the air felt charged with electricity and tension. Light was staring at him but L refused to look at him. 

"I have something to confess" L suddenly announced. All eyes focused on him and L managed one last bitter smile. "I have misled all of you. The 13 day rule test has already started. In 11 days time my heir will be in contact with you all to announce the results. It is too late to cancel the experiment. I knew none of you would approve but I did it anyway. I am not going to apologize because I am not sorry"

"Your heir?" Aizawa narrowed his eyes, "You can't honestly be thinking of retiring now, Ryuzaki?"

'If only that were so' L thought whimsically. The words 'All Data Deletion' flashed up on the monitors and L let out a strangled gasp. No! Not Watari as well! 

L felt tears prick his eyes as he saw his faithful friend and father figure slump to the ground. He felt such a fool. He had accepted his own death as inevitable but never his! The bells screamed at him but L knew he had to try and save Watari. 

"Everyone! The Shiniga-"

L felt his breath whoosh out of him as he was hit with a pulse of pure pain. He couldn't breath but he did not panic. This was not a surprise to him and had been long expected. In the end his lover was fated to kill him indirectly. The Shinigami had been the one to write his and Watari's name down… 

The world lurched sickeningly and L was dimly aware of falling out of his chair. It was odd, to feel so calm as he was dying, but he collapsed to the ground with barely a sound. 

"RYUZAKI!"

Light dashed towards him to break his fall and L found himself staring up into conflicted eyes. There were tears there, yes, but Light was also grinning down at him. 

_'This is what love has cost me. I am so sorry, Watari. I am sorry, Near!' _

It was getting difficult to see now. His vision blurred yet he could still hear the panicked cries all around him. Light's face became increasingly fuzzy until all he could see was blinding white. 

"I love you, Ryuu. I am so sorry"

It was the quietest of whispers but Light might as well have screamed in his ear. L opened his mouth, his last gasp for air and a futile struggle to say something (anything!) before the bells suddenly fell silent. His mind went black and he released his breath in a small sigh. Finally, it was over. Images of stained glass and crying children flashed across L's mind. He saw stark, barren trees and the beautiful cross that adorned Wammy's Houses gates and then nothing at all. 

Quietly, and with dignified grace, L Lawliet died. His last thought was of Light and his wish that somehow things could have been different… 

"Ryuu… zaki?" Light shook L's body, panic and elation warring inside him as he watched those dark eyes close for the last time. 

"Ryuzaki? What's wrong?"

Light tore his eyes away from L's face and, on autopilot, he began to scream. "Watari! Ryuzaki! Who's next? Were all gonna die!"

Amidst the panic his words had created, Light stole one last look at L's face. He looked so beautiful. So peaceful lying in his arms. 

He had killed his love. Light sobbed whilst Kira, gloating and grinning, rejoiced in his victory. 

L Lawliet, the world's greatest detective was dead! 

_'And so am I! L! Ryuu, I am so sorry! I am so sorry'_ Light gathered L into his arms and pressed a kiss to the man's forehead. The skin was already beginning to cool beneath his lips. 

Light heaved and jerked his head away just in time to empty his stomach of his dinner. Souichiro drifted over to him and mumbled pointless words of condolence as he rubbed Light's back. 

_'Love is the Death of duty, Light'_ the words echoed in his mind and in response Light retched again. He could scarcely see through his tears. 

He had killed L out of duty. Somehow he needed to find the strength to carry on. L was the sacrifice upon which his glorious new world would be built!

Light wiped his mouth with his sleeve and raised blazing eyes to his father. Determination seared through him. "We need to search for the Shinigami"

The Task Force scrambled to obey him and Light managed a bitter smile. 

He was now L. 


	11. Chain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chain is the only link Light has left of L... Or so he thinks.

Four days. 

It had been four days since Ryuu had died in his arms. 

A clandestine burial had been arranged for L and Watari and Light had stood over L's grace as an odd mixture of soul-searing despair and giddy elation swept through him. He couldn't comprehend that L's body lay underneath that neat, compacted earth and that he had put him there… 

Light sniffed and looked down at the chain clenched tightly in his hands. The shiny silver metal glinted in the low light (god, Low-Light!) and he didn't even bother to brush away the silent tears that trailed down his face. 

In the four days that had passed he had achieved everything he had wanted. He was now 'L' and the Task Force were convinced Ryuzaki and Watari had been killed by the Mafia. But in private moments like this Light indulged and allowed himself to break down. 

He was alone. There was no Ryuu perched beside him crunching on Pokey and spouting percentages. There was no Ryuu staring at him with those fathomless dark eyes.

His Ryuu was lying in the ground. Cold and rotting. 

"Yeesh, Light, give it a rest" Ryuk snickered as he caught Light fingering the chain again. "He ain't coming back. That's it. He's gone! _Pooof_!" The Shinigami mimed a knife across the throat and Light shuddered with revulsion. 

_'Yes, I know he's gone forever. It hurts so much. Did he realise how much I loved him at the end? Did he understand I didn't kill him because I wanted to?'_

"Go away, Ryuuk" Light forced out through a tear-strained voice. "Go and bug Misa or something. I'm not in the mood for this"

Ryuk snickered at Light's despair (it was very interesting to see Kira saw torn up) before giving the distraught human a mocking salute and phasing through the bedroom wall. 

Alone once more, Light curled up on his bed and brought the cold metal to his lips. He was catapulted back in time to when L was still with him… 

"_Li-Light!" L's voice had been hoarse with pleasure as his hands spasmed around the cold chain that bound his wrists to the bed. _

_Light had chuckled at the desperate whines spilling from L's mouth as he teasingly tongued the soft wrinkled skin of L's balls. Light licked further and L let out a keening cry as he felt Light's tongue slowly sweep over his twitching asshole. _

_"Do you like this?"_

_"Ah! Yes! Light! Please!"_

_Light had grinned in triumph at reducing the usually eloquent Detective to broken sentences and need filled gasps. He pushed his tongue inside that gripping heat and the noise L made nearly made him come immediately. L was an inferno above him, body twisting and shuddering violently as Light used his tongue and lips to eat him out masterfully. _

_Between the sobs and the low cries for more Light could hear the metallic clicking of the chain that bound L's wrists to the headboard. _

_That chain… _

Light wiped at his tears and shuddered with want. His cock pulsed painfully between his legs and he felt a sick sensation wash over him. He was turned on but his lover was no longer here. L was in the ground… no life left within him. No hot body, no panting whines, no fire… 

"Dammit!" Light clutched at his hair and threw the chain across the room. "Dammit, L! Why do you have to torment me?! Can't you understand it was necessary? I loved you! Oh god, I love you" Light broke down into tears and curled in on himself. His arousal vanished as he gave way to heaving sobs. 

Unbeknownst to Light he was not alone in his torment. A small, glowing orb, invisible to human eyes, hovered over him. The orb was faint, having only recently passing over to the other side, but a consciousness and a desire to watch over the sobbing mortal shone within the orb's consciousness. 

In time, L Lawliet would be able to physically manifest as himself once again, but for now the small orb could do nothing but linger in the air as a silent witness to the soul-crushing despair. 

_ **You did love me. I feared you were lying but I can see now that isn't so. Oh Light, you have damned yourself. You have started on a path I cannot follow. I can't do anything anymore… except… maybe** _

The orb hovered over Light's shoulder before landing gently. Light shivered as he felt an unexpected warmth run through him. It almost felt like L's arms were wrapped around him…

"L" Light whispered in choked anguish. "Is that you? Can I feel you?"

_ **Yes, Light, i'm here! ** _

L knew it was hopeless. As soon as Light's tears had dried he had scoffed at himself for being so foolish and weak to believe that he had felt L's presence. 

L decided the only thing he could do was remain at Light's side and try and show him over time that he wasn't imagining things. He could only hope by the end of Light's life the teenager would accept he was with him. 

Watari had wanted him to cross over into Mu with him but L could not. His heart, broken and damaged as it was, remained with Light. He'd chosen to remain in the human world to watch over the one who had killed him. It was a decision that had no sense behind it. 

It was a decision based solely on love. 

The orb floated over to the chain and settled on it. Perhaps there was hope yet. Perhaps if he concentrated his energy on the chain Light would be able to feel some sort of connection to him? 

He had six years to watch over Light Yagami before the boy's numbers ran out and L knew those six years were going to be excruciating for the both of them. Kira would not win. L was never wrong and he knew his heir would triumph. He had set his victory in motion by sending his data to him and organising the 13 day rule but L suspected Near's victory would not be instantaneous. Light was acting as 'L' now and without concrete evidence there was no possibility of convicting him. 

The only thing the spirit could do was wait and watch as the drama unfolded befor e him and his Light slowly succumbed to the madness of Kira… 


	12. Notebook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L makes contact with Light in a rather unique way...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, L is a cat! 😂😍

It was a rainy Sunday afternoon and Light was walking, hand in hand, with Misa through the park. The girl's little hand felt hot and clammy and Light grimaced in annoyance as she cuddled closer to him under the pretence of sharing his umbrella. 

It had been seven long, agonizing days since his Ryuu had died. 

"Light, are you sure you're okay?" Misa's soft question dragged him out of his thoughts, "Ever since L died you've been different. It's okay if you miss him, you know. It just shows what a big heart you have"

Light forced a tight-lipped smile. "I do miss him, Misa. When one spends so much time with another in such close proximity it is only natural that some sort of… attachment develops"

Misa nodded sympathetically even though she had no real conception of what Light was saying to her. He missed the annoying, sarcastic Detective because he was a kind person who had been able to see the good in someone like L Lawliet. 

Personally she was glad he was gone since it meant she had Light to herself. 

"Anyway, enough about him" Misa giggled and pressed a kiss to Light's cheek, "You said something about subletting the Death Note out?"

Light could have strangled the idiot. A couple who were walking by raised an eyebrow at what they perceived as nonsense talk. Light tightened his grip on Misa's hand and pulled her down another more secluded path. 

"_Misa_!" Light hissed as soon as they were alone, "How many times have I told you? Do not mention the notebook like that!"

Misa's lip quivered and she bowed her head. She hated when Light was mad with her and since L had died he'd been mad a lot… 

"I am sorry, Light. It won't happen again" Misa mumbled in a small voice.

Light huffed and walked ahead of her. He found himself wishing things could have been different. If L had been the one in Misa's place the whole world would already be on its knees. Together, Light knew they could have been unstoppable. Too bad he was stuck with a vapid blonde idiot and not the dark eyed enigmatic genius. Still. Misa had the eyes and a womb. She was useful in a way that even his Ryuu could not be. 

Light wondered if the afterlife did exist would L be watching over him before scoffing at his own absurdity. Of course the afterlife didn't exist and, of course, if by some miracle it did exist, then yes L would be watching over him. Why break the habit of a lifetime? Watching people was what L had always done best. 

_'What would he think if he saw me now? He died so angry at me. If I ever had the chance to see him again I don't know if I could bear to look at him' _

A crow's loud, hoarse cry rang out and Light stared at the dark creature as it settled on a park bench. For some reason it reminded him of L and he felt a shiver spread ice down his back. The crow's dark eyes gleamed at him knowingly and the urge to whisper "Ryuu?" burned within him. Why was it sometimes he could swear he felt L's presence? 

The moment was broken as Misa grabbed his hand and pulled him down another path, talking in a low and excited voice about who Light wanted her to write about in her notebook. 

The crow shook its head as a small white orb floated out of it. The crow flew away, none the wiser a spirit had been inhabiting its body for the last few days. L was learning how to inhabit the bodies of animals and concentrate his power through them. He hoped he would soon be able to manifest his own physical form but for now he learnt something new about his abilities with each passing day. 

As a spirit he could not intervene in the affairs of mortals. He could only observe. As a spirit he could manipulate objects in the human realm to make his presence known and he could appear before humans, but only if he had the energy to do so and the human was susceptible to the notion of the existence of spirits. Being newly dead, L had harnessed virtually no energy from those around him but he was nothing short of determined. Feeding of the life force of animals helped but in order to gain his human form he would need to feed off the life force of humans. 

It was his goal to become strong as fast as possible because he wanted Light to know he was there and the angry, vengeful part of him wanted Kira to know he was being haunted by the one he had loved and killed. 

L had decided that Light would be the human whose life force he utilized. It was just a matter of getting close to him again… 

L considered his options as he watched Light and Misa walk away, heads bowed low together as the sweetly conspired who next to murder in that damned notebook of theirs. Part of him wished he could have stayed with Watari. He knew the old man would have been reunited with his wife and child by now and that made him happy. He wanted Watari to enjoy eternity with them. 

But he wanted to be close to Light. Despite everything he loved him. A sudden wave of genius hit L and the orb floated into the air. He would find a body to inhabit and garner the energy he needed directly! Being a crow hadn't enabled him to get as close to Light as he would have liked but if he was another animal, a cuter domesticated animal one might keep as a pet… 

As if in answer to his prayers, a small black kitten meowed softly from where it had taken shelter under a maple tree. The orb hovered above it. The cat was young, only nine or ten weeks and obviously one of Tokyo's many strays. L concentrated on the little creature and pushed with what little power he had. 

The kitten's eyes widened as it felt L's presence within it. 

'_**It's alright, little one, I won't hurt you. I just need to absorb some of your energy and get close to Light' L**_ thought as he soothed the kitten. He could feel the fleas crawling through its fur and its little belly was rumbling with hunger. He would use his time in the cat's body to try and better the poor creatures circumstances. _**'Trust me. I will help you have a better life'**_

L felt relief as the small creature relaxed and let out a low, rumbling purr of what could have been an agreement. 

L, who now controlled the kitten, walked towards the path Light and Misa had taken. It took awhile but he eventually caught up to them and found them sitting on a park bench. The rain had began to clear and a rainbow broke through the gloom. L decided to take that as a sign and scampered over to the pair of killers with a plaintive meow. 

"Ooooh! Look! What a cute kitty!" Misa scooped him up and L resisted the urge to hiss and bite at her. If Misa decided to take him as a pet he would bite and run off though. The plan was to get close to Light to feed off his energy. Yeah, he could feed of Misa's but he honestly didn't think he could tolerate her any better as a cat than he had as a human. 

_**'Light always did like to feel special though. Maybe showing him preferential treatment will be just the ego boost to get him to adopt 'me' '** _L changed tack and bared his fangs at Misa and hissed. He scrambled out of her arms and promptly snuggled up on Light's lap, letting out deep throaty purrs of happiness. If Light didn't feel special after that then L didn't know what would work. 

The small smile on Light's face was worth it and L reared up on his hind legs to lick Light's face. Being this close to Light again he could feel his heat and feed off his energy. It was blissful… 

"Wow! He really likes you, Light. Definitely a stray though" Misa scratched her arm. L hoped a flea had bitten her. 

For the first time since L had died Light felt a little bit of happiness as the little cat nuzzled and licked him. 

'_Do you believe in fate, Light?'_

Maybe… just maybe this was fate. The kitten had rejected Misa and had chosen him. He'd never had a pet before but his heart was telling him this little black kitten with the strange gray eyes was special. It reminded him of L. 

"I'm going to keep him" Light decided as he scratched under the kitten's neck. "Definitely need to sort this flea problem out and get a free decent meals inside you though, Ryuu-Kun"

"Ryuu?" Misa blurted out in surprise. Wasn't that the silly nickname Light had given L? 

"Yes. That's his name. You are Ryuu, aren't you?" Light lifted the small kitten up and the kitten purred as if in agreement. 

_**'Yes, Light, I am Ryuu'** _L thought. It was going to take some getting used to: being a cat. Hopefully he wouldn't have to live in this form for too long, but while he inhabited it he was going to try and make the most of it. He was pretty cozy in Light's hands and it felt so wonderful to feel those slim fingers stroke through his fur. It was almost like when Light used to run his fingers through his hair... 

Light tucked him into his coat pocket and broke off his date/murder discussion with Misa early. If he hurried perhaps he would make the vets and have time to pick up some cat supplies… 

****************

That evening Light did not feel quite so alone. The wind was howling outside but he was tucked up in bed with a little, purring bundle of warmth on his belly. It was the night that he found the hardest. Even when the chain had come off he had stayed in L's room. 

"Oh Ryuu, I miss him so much" Light sighed as he stroked the cats (thankfully flea treated) fur. "If I could just tell him… oh, listen to me. Trying to talk about this to a cat"

L opened one of his eyes as if to say 'go on' and Light chuckled softly despite the tears in his eyes. "I loved him, Ryuu-Kun, I really loved him. If only things could have been different…"

_**'Yes, quite. If only I didn't have to die in utter agony from a heart attack'** _L thought snidely. He was seeing a side to Light he had only glimpsed when he was alive. Light was a narcissist through and through. Even that night on the roof Light had tried to gain comfort from him and now, in his grief, Light was only focusing on himself and his own sense of loss. 

Light sighed and gently scooped up the purring cat. L let out a disgruntled meow as he was placed on the bed. Light got up and went to his desk. L watched as he unlocked his desk drawer and disabled some kind of trap. Light pulled out a slim black notebook and placed it on his desk.

L jumped down from the bed and up onto the desk, big gray eyes staring at Light as Kira settled down to write some names. 

"Not now, Ryuu-Kun, I have work to do" Light gently pushed the cat away and opened the Death Note. L let out a hiss of displeasure and plonked himself directly onto the paper, effectively stopping Light from writing. 

"God dammit, Ryuu!" Light jolted as soon as the words left his mouth and a strange look crossed his face. For a second there it had been like he was saying that to the real Ryuu when he had annoyed him. 

L knew it was hopeless. He hadn't been able to stop Light when he was alive and a human so how was he supposed to when he was dead and a cat? He jumped down from the desk and returned to the bed. He watched as Light turned on the news and began to write… 

He would learn, in time, that Light was slowly but surel y being eradicated by the lustful, power hungry force that was his own darker nature. 

Kira. 


	13. Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light increasingly feels like he is being watched.

Days turned into weeks and weeks into months. L, in his temporary form, stayed close to Light as he continued his charade of being both 'L' and Kira. 

An air of suspicion was notable in the way Aizawa spoke to Light. The 13-day rule had been proven to be fake and thus Light's innocence was not watertight. L had hoped the team would have been a bit more proactive about such things but he couldn't say he was surprised when they all just bought Light's assertion that he simply couldn't be Kira. Light had finished his rousing speech by swearing to capture Kira to avenge Ryuzaki and it had been met with nothing but enthusiasm. 

_**'Bunch of idiots**_' L thought snidely. It had been six weeks since he had died and in that time Light had managed to cement his power as 'L', blame his death on the Mafia and kill another four hundred people (which, unsurprisingly, was also blamed on the Mafia)

L was thankful that at least Aizawa was maintaining a healthy bit of skepticism when it came to Light's supposed innocence. 

L watched Light through new eyes as the teenager effortlessly manipulated all around him. He added 'compulsive liar' to his growing list of adjectives to describe Light. Of course he had known what Light was like before, but it was only now that he had the opportunity to sit back and watch did he realise just how messed up Light Yagami really was:

He was a narcissist, a fantasist, a compulsive liar, had an absurd god-complex and was utterly fixated on achieving his dream of a new world. He was so driven by ambition he would do anything to succeed (case in point: he'd killed him, whom he had claimed to love) It was far more than a case of being childish and hating to lose. Light's obsession with Godhood and flat-out refusal to empathize with anyone was the hallmark of an out and out sociopath. 

And yet still L loved him. Love really was illogical. 

"Hey, Ryuu" 

L hissed in irritation as he felt Matsuda's hands scoop him up. He'd bitten the idiot the other day and was quite prepared to do it again when he spotted the cat treats the bumbling idiot had brought in with him. L decided for the sake of the cat he would be nice this time. The cat's body was starting to fill out and he needed all the treats he could get. 

L figured he would soon be free to leave the cat's form and manifest as himself. He'd garnered energy from not only Light but the entire Task Force since he'd taken to joining the team in HQ. They thought he was their official mascot but in reality L was simply feeding off their energy and the constant proximity was necessary. 

"There you go, Little guy" Matsuda cooed as he sprinkled some of the cat treats onto the floor. L ate them up as fast as he could. They tasted awful to him but the cat liked them. "Aw, you're so cute" Matsuda patted his head with a goofy smile on his face. 

_ **'I could still bite you, Matsuda'** _

"Can you leave Ryuu-Kun alone and get back to work?" Light snapped tersely, "There's been reports of another set of murders and our lead within the Yakuza has come to a dead end"

L tilted his head at that. Light sounded frustrated and he wondered why. Surely Light should be pleased his orchestrated diversion was successful? For as long as the Task Force's eyes were fixed on the Mafia it was away from him. 

L decided to find out what Light's mood was about. He jumped up onto Light's desk and bumped his head against Light's elbow. 

Light sighed softly and reached for him. L felt the weariness in Light's body as Light cuddled him close. 

"I'm missing him so much today, Ryuu" Light whispered into the dark, fluffy fur. "I thought it was getting easier but some days…"

L felt torn between wanting to provide comfort and wanting to scratch Light for saying something like that. He couldn't help but wonder what Light would think if he realised his pet cat was actually his murdered ex lover. 

It made for _quite_ the surreal story. 

L had estimated he had at least another four weeks until he could manifest as himself again, so he decided for those four weeks he would try and persuade 'Ryuu' to continue to be a good, affectionate cat to Light. 

L licked Light's face and peered up at him with solemn gray eyes._** 'I wish you could see me, Light!' **_

Light felt his breath catch in his throat as he finally allowed himself to acknowledge just how similar those deep gray eyes were to L's. Was that why he felt such a deep emotional connection to the little creature? 

_'I'm being ridiculous. It's the lack of sleep'_ Light pushed such idiotic thoughts aside and took a long sip of coffee. He needed to concentrate. Whilst it was easy to pull the wool over the Task Force's eyes he was all too aware of a mysterious figure known only as 'N' who was lurking in the shadows. 

_'He has to be L's heir. And if he is L's heir that means I need to tread carefully. He will not be as easy to deceive as the Task Force are. L knew I was Kira from day one and there is a high probability his heir possesses the same level of intelligence L did. L wouldn't choose a successor who didn't possess the same qualities he did. N is establishing himself yet hasn't publicly challenged me for the title of 'L' yet. I can't help but feel this is because he is keeping his cards close to his chest and just watching me… '_

Light felt a small shiver run through him at the memory of dark eyes staring so deeply at him. He'd felt like L could actually see through him at times… 

Light made an excuse and promptly left the HQ. He needed to stretch his legs and have a moment to breath without the constant feeling of being watched. He didn't even know who was watching him or if he was simply being paranoid but he had to admit to himself leading this double life of L and Kira was mentally draining. 

Light let his feet take him wherever they wanted him to go and he felt a pang of bittersweet remembrance as he found himself standing outside of the cafe he and L had had an impromptu date in… 

He closed his eyes as memory washedover him. 

"_I don't like this" L mumbled as he looked around the packed cafe. "It really isn't a good idea to be so visible, Ashai-Kun"_

_"Relax" Light laughed, "No one here knows who you are, Ryuu. Besides, if you were looking for-" Light lowered his tone and gave L a teasing smile, "The World's Greatest Detective would you think of looking in a maid cafe of all places?"_

_L had to concede and gave Light a small smile. "Okay, fair enough, but being exposed still makes me… uncomfortable" _

_"Would an extra large strawberry sundae help?"_

_L perked up at that and nodded his head. "I think it would. As would one of those huge hot chocolates with extra cream and marshmallows on top"_

_Light shuddered with revulsion. If Kira didn't get to L he was certain Diabetes would. _

_"Alright then" Light pressed his leg against L's and took a moment to just soak up his presence. He could almost pretend they were just two young men on an informal date. _

_"This place is actually rather… pleasent" L decided, casting his eyes around the pastel pink interior of the cafe, "If not a little too colorful for my tastes"_

_They enjoyed a blissful two hours away from the Task Force, the Kira case and everything else that set them apart. When it was time to leave and head back to HQ they both felt a keen sense of disappointment. _

_"We will have to come back here again" Light decided as they began the walk back to the skyscraper. _

_"Sure" L smiled at him but it didn't quite reach his eyes… _

_'We never did go back' _Perhaps it was nostalgia or just the need to feel close to L again, but Light found himself walking into the cafe and ordering a sickly hot chocolate and a strawberry short cake to go. He didn't want to sit down amongst the giggly teenagers and weathered looking salarymen. As soon as he had been served he left the cafe and headed down the seldom-trodden path that led to the cemetery. 

It was dusk and a thick orange glow hung heavily in the air as Light walked through the silent cemetery. It felt peaceful and despite the sorrow in his heart Light felt a sense of relief. He'd been avoiding visiting L's grave for weeks but now he was here he knew it was something he needed to do. 

Light made his way to the large marble cross and stood before it. No plaque adorned the cross as befitting of L's desire for secrecy even in death. Light had no idea where Watari was hurried. He'd heard the old man had stipulated in his will he wished for his body to be returned to England so he assumed that was what had happened. L had not been so sentimental. He had instructed upon his death his body was to be buried in whichever country he happened to be in, in whatever clothes he happened to be wearing and with no fuss or ceremony in an unmarked grave. 

Light hesitated before he placed the hot chocolate and cake on L's grave as an offering. It was something of a tradition amongst the Japanese to offer such tokens to appease the spirits of their loved ones. Light didn't really believe in that nonsense but he couldn't help but hope, somehow, L still existed somewhere… 

"Hey, Ryuu" Light swallowed the lump in his throat. "I… we didn't get to return to that cafe so I thought I'd… " 

He felt foolish. He was talking to a stone. He was attempting to appease the spirit (something he didn't even believe in) of the lover he had murdered. 

"I can't do this. This is ridiculous" Light ran a hand through his mused hair and turned away from the grave. There was a time when he had believed he would dance on L's grave. Now the sight of it made him feel sick with guilt. 

As he walked out of the cemetery Light promised himself he wouldn't return again, but each year on November 5th he would return to lay a hot chocolate, a cake and a single blue rose on the unmarked grave. 


	14. Rotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kira's tries to move on but is slowly rotting from the inside. L watches on helplessly.

Time passed. 

Kira's followers grew in number while L grew in strength. 

He was finally able to manifest as himself. It felt strange to have arms and hands again rather than paws. He had never fully gotten used to living as a cat but there were some perks he definitely missed, such as getting to sleep in the same bed with Light. 

L decided for that reason only he would inhabit Ryuu's body during the night and follow Light about in the day in his own spirit form. The cat had long since grown used to his presence and there was even a sort of unlikely bond that had developed between them. L could tell Ryuu was pleased to have his body to himself during the day but was still always pleased to feel him return in the night. 

Having a physical body of his own again presented L with more freedom. Now he could follow Light around when he left HQ (without taking the form of a crow, something he didn't miss in the slightest) 

Today, Light was apartment hunting with Misa Amane. For some unknown reason Light had decided it was time for them to move in together. The lease on his skyscraper had expired (or so Light thought) so the team had to move their base of operations. What Light didn't know was that it was Near who now owned Kira HQ and would be taking over it. The legal letters about the lease being expired were pure fabrication executed by Near's order. 

L had to admit he felt a keen sense of pride in his heir's cunning. The Kira HQ was a valuable asset and he was pleased Near and the M's had claimed it so quickly. It would give them the needed foothold in Japan, would provide an excellent base of operations with its high-tech security features and it was, quite simply, a kick in the teeth to Light. 

Moving HQ would weaken Light's position and strengthen Nears. Once, such a prospect would have conflicted L to no end, but now he felt nothing but vindication. 

As a spirit he had been privy to seeing Light for who he really was and he had come to a stark conclusion: the boy (man, he corrected, Light was now 20) was rotten. 

His ideologies and dreams for Kira's glorious new world were beginning to infect even the good, kind parts of him that had made L fall in love with him. Light was growing increasingly more paranoid and neurotic. His entries into the Death Note were increasingly macabre. It wasn't enough to give heart attacks anymore. Oh no, Light was making 'criminals' disembowel themselves and fling themselves from rooftops… 

And all the while he prattled and preached about the glorious new world he was building. 

_**You are the greatest of fools because you believe your own lies** _L thought sadly. There was nothing he could do anyway, as much as he'd like to. Light's fate (because L had learned such a thing did exist) was sealed. 

Still. Light had another five years and six months of life left to him. L sensed those five years would not be kind to him. 

"I think this is the one" Light was all smiles as he shook hands with the estate agent, "What do you think, Love?"

L pulled a face as Misa giggled and clapped excitedly like some deranged seal. Light was always calling Misa 'Love' and 'Baby' when they were alone. L could only theorise this new affection for her was because he needed her eyes more than ever. 

L toyed with the idea of knocking over the pretentious glass with silk flowers in it to show his annoyance. It wasn't much in the grand scheme of things but it was something and right now he was so angry. L concentrated on the case and willed every ounce of energy he possessed into knocking the fucking thing on the ground. 

It toppled over and gave the most satisfying smash L had ever heard in his life (or death) 

Misa shrieked and immediately began crying that the apartment was haunted. For the first time since his death L burst into laughter, tears running down his face at how Light tried to maintain his composure but went pale faced all the same. 

"Miss Amane, I can assure you this apartment is not haunted. There have been no reports of any kind of unusual activity here. Perhaps that was just because of an earth tremour?"

Ah, logic. Of course Light jumped on the explanation at once. 

"That's right. It was a tremor. The apartment is beautiful. We'll take it"

Papers were signed and soon Light Yagami was the proud owner of a 'haunted' apartment. 

L decided he would wait a few days to gather up the energy he needed to break something else. Even if all it achieved was freaking Misa out and spooking Light he'd take it. Wasn't like he had anything better to do, was it? 

**************

The first night in their new apartment Light and Misa had sex. L couldn't stand to be in the room and since he was occupying Ryuu, he made the cat jump off the bed and walk out of the bedroom door. 

If he had stayed he would have seen the struggle on Light's face and heard the almost silent whisper of 'Ryuu' as he came… 

Light shuddered through an unsatisfying orgasam and kept his eyes tightly closed. This was the first time he'd slept with Misa and he was amazed he'd even managed to 'finish'. It was thoughts of Ryuu that enabled him to muddle through the whole experience. He'd taken Misa from the back and it took a hell of a lot of imagination but if he concentrated hard enough he could block out those high pitched whines and transform them into his breathy moans. 

Misa was gasping and saying how amazing he had been but he wasn't paying attention to her. As far as he saw it, she was just a vessel to masturbate into. 

Making love with L had been absolutely perfect and nothing could compare to it. Misa's skin wasn't as pale and as soft of L's. Her body wasn't as tight or as hot as L's was. 

Everything about her simply wasn't perfect enough for him. Being with L had set the bar too high for anyone else to even consider aspiring too. Light left Misa sleeping, threw on his dressing gown, and walked to the kitchen. He was keeping odd hours just as L had done. 

He felt L's presence with him constantly and sometimes, usually in the dead of the night, he would entertain the notion of L actually being near and haunting him. 

"If you are here I bet you're finding this pretty funny, huh?" Light mumbled to the dark kitchen. He half expected the vase to fall over and shatter again. 

He did what he always did in the dead of night when he couldn't sleep. He wrote down name after name, filled with a burning resolve to make the world a less rotten place with each name he wrote. 

"It will be worth it in the end. The legacy I leave will be worth the sacrifices I've made" Light muttered to himself as scribbled down names with a frantic fervour . 

L could only shake his head in pity. 

Rotten indeed. 


	15. SPK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time passes and the SPK are formed... Light is still haunted by L's memory, while L's spirit travels to England to witness the formation of the SPK.

Winter became Spring and then the heat of summer gave way to cooling winds and Autumn breezes. Then the whole cycle happened again. And again. In the blink of an eye three years had passed since Kira had killed L Lawliet. 

L had discovered that with time and patience he could will himself to travel to anywhere in the world. As a spirit the fabric of time and space did not constrain him as it did living humans. L simply had to will himself to England and there he was. 

Kira was growing increasingly deluded. His lust for power was leading innocent people to their deaths. Once he had even visited L's grave to laugh and sneer over his fallen rival. 

That was the day L had first willed himself to England. He willed himself as far away from Light as physically possible. He wished to visit Wammy's House and a strange sensation of evaporating overtook him. When he'd regained his equilibrium and opened his eyes he had found himself staring up at the beloved old manor house once again. Begin a genius, L had soon worked out the fundamentals of Astral travel. 

He was in still in England watching over his heirs when the announcement of the formation of the SPK was made. Naturally L had promptly researched each member and found himself impressed. Giovanni and Halle in particular stood out to him as the people Near needed behind him to suceed. 

He hadn't seen Light in six months and although he was aching to return to him he was also filled with trepidation. Countries had begun to pledge their allegiance to Kira and Kira's supporters were growing rapidly, not to mention there was very little of the Light that he had fallen in love with left anymore. 

Kira increasingly dominated his thoughts and actions. Light's love for him had been enough for L to keep some vain hope that there was still a part of him that was pur, but after that visit to his grave even L had to doubt it existed anymore. His Light was as dead as he was himself… 

L tore his mind away from such thoughts and focused his attention on the three young men in front of him. Near, Matt and Mello would be the ones to stop Kira and (hopefully) save what little there was left of his Light in the process. 

*******************

Light forced a smile as he pretended to listen to Misa as she yapped away about her latest promo campaign. Even Ryuk was miming yawns and rolling his eyes behind her back. 

_'I used to enjoy speaking with L. He actually said things that were interesting and thought provoking. Does she really think I care about the directors 'awful' decision to pair apricot lipstick with a red fucking coat??'_

Light brought a hand to his head and delicately massaged his temples. He'd considered getting rid of Misa as soon as he was free from the threat of Rem but those damn eyes of hers were an asset too precious to discard. What he needed was more close allies who would make the eye deal for him. Working solely with Misa was quite simply draining. 

"What's wrong, Light? Aw! Do you have a headache?" Misa cooed, eyes wide with concern as she watched Light rub his temples. 

"I do" Light was quick to see the opportunity to leave and nodded his head. "I'm going to go for a lie down. Please keep Ryuk company and write down those names I gave you earlier"

"Will do!" Misa trilled, "You just go and have a nice sleep. Poor Light, you are working so hard to make the world a better place! Well don't you worry, MisaMisa will help you!"

Light clenched his teeth as he muttered an insincere 'thank you' before leaving the room. It was November the 5th and he was not in the mood to endure Misa Amane for a single second more than he had to. 

Light returned to his bedroom and searched for Ryuu. The cat had grown increasingly more aloof with him as the years passed. It was ridiculous, but Light felt a keen sense of loss. He hardly 'felt' L's presence anymore either. The logical part of his mind was pleased about that. His ill-placed guilt at eliminating his rival must surely be lifting. But his heart… 

His heart continued to ache with a slow, festering wound in the shape of the letter L. 

"You would have been 25 today"

Light startled himself with the statement and shook his head in annoyance. He picked up Ryuu and stared into the big gray eyes. There was a definite change in the cat. The spark of warmth he'd felt in him was gone. 

Light sighed as Ryuu scrambled to get out of his arms and returned to his own bed. That was another habit the cat had picked up. He used to love sleeping curled up on Light's stomach but for the last six months he'd chosen to sleep in his own bed instead. 

_'Rejected by a cat. Wonderful'_

Light turned the television on and was immediately captivated as a special broadcast came on. The Special Provision for Kira had been established with UK and American backing. 

Light smiled as the reporter denounced Kira as a 'vile murderer' and reached for his Death Note. His followers would expect him to strike down the blasphemer and who was he to disappoint them. He smirked as he wrote down 'Kenji Yoshido' and hoped the SPK were watching. It had been so long since he'd had a decent challenge! If the leader of the SPK was L's heir than all the better. 

_'As long as he doesn't try to surpass L or besmurge his memory by imitating him. No one can be my perfect enemy like Ryuu was'_

Feeling brighter than he had in days, Light turned off the television and lay back on his bed with a contented smile. He was eagerly awaiting this new game with the SPK and, like always, he played to_** win.**_


	16. Worship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misa fails Light and Light visits L's grave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a distressing scene in this ficlet of still birth, just a warning in case it's a trigger for someone.

L had returned to Japan alongside Near and the M's as they took up residence in the old Kira HQ with the newly assembled SPK. 

He had returned to Light and Misa and had discovered something deeply unsettling: Misa Amane was pregnant with Light's child. 

Light was obviously delighted at having an heir to inherit the golden kingdom as Kira he was certain he would make, but L was filled with infinite sadness. The baby was not destined to live. He didn't know how he knew this, but he did. He could sense its little soul's impending passing. The child would not even reach six months inside the womb.

L Lawliet had rarely felt so helpless as he did when he watched Light and Misa convert the spare room into a nursery for a child who was not destined to be born. 

Misa Amane worshipped the ground Light walked on. Even when he was cruel to her she simpered at him. It was more than just blind obedience and love that made her tolerate his constant rejection and coldness. It was an obsession. She was as deluded and fanatical as he was about the utopia they were trying to build. 

It was painful to watch but L doggedly persisted to remain by Light's side. Despite the increasing neuroticism and sociopathic behavior he was thrilled to see flashes of the old Light shine through. 

Light had visited his grave again but not to laugh or mock him. He had left a cake and the customary blue rose. He had even sat down on the cool grass and cried poignant, silent tears. 

L had felt his heart break all over again as he listened to the words Light was convinced he would never hear, but needed to say anyway:

_"I miss you so much, Ryuu. I worship you and your memory, do you know that? I see you every single day, even when I try to shut my eyes to you. _

_You're in the rain that falls and the moon that hangs in the sky. Hell, you're even in my cat. He just reminds me of you so much. I wish I could say that I am sorry for what I had to do but I wouldn't be truthful if I said that. You had to die for Kira to live. _

_I wish things could have been different. We could have ruled the world together, you and I. I know we were never fated for happiness. I knew it the second I regained my memories but I had hoped… I had hoped… "_

_ **I hoped too, Light** _

L had left Light to weep at his grave and returned to Misa. He had never had much time for her but he couldn't in all conscious leave her alone now. 

He returned to the apartment to a truly tragic sight. Misa was lying in a pool of her own blood, shivering and staring into space as the mass that had once been her child lay cold and unmoving on the bathroom floor. 

L knelt down next to her and placed his hand over her forehead. She gave a weak moan and tried to rouse herself. She slumped back to the floor and began to wail brokenly for Light to come home to her. 

Light eventually did return and his eyes were coldly furious as he beheld the fate of his precious heir. 

"You've failed me, Misa! You had one damn job and that was to give me my heir!"

L shuddered in horror and stepped back as Light smashed his fist into the mirror in anger. 

_'Those who possess and use the Death Note are cursed with a life full of misfortune'_

L shook his head as he remembered those prophetic words. In this moment there were none, not even himself, who was more unfortunate than Light and Misa. 

"I will give you an heir! I'll get pregnant again!" Misa crawled on her knees to Light and stared up at him beseechingly. "Please, Light! I worship you!"

That seemed to pacify Light. He stared down at his bleeding hand before accepting the towel Misa held out to him. Her own bleeding didn't seem that much of a concern to her. 

The little body was wrapped up and given a respectable funeral on a cold December morning. The rain fell from a rapidly darkening sky and for the first time since he'd died L found himself bitterly regretting his decision to remain at Light's side. 

After the funeral, Light locked himself away to write in his Death Note for hours on end. He would not eat, drink and hardly slept either. The death of his child had cut him deeply and tears coursed down his face as he wrote. He cursed Misa. He cursed L and he cursed Ryuk for ever throwing the Death Note down in the first place. In his despair and his suffering he was human again. 

L couldn't help but feel a stirring of hope at Light's bitter regrets even though he knew it was too late. Light couldn't, and wouldn't, turn back now. As far as he was concerned he had come too far to abandon his glorious vision. 

And then Light had received an email from an old flame, a Miss Kiyomi Takada, and the next part of the whole sorry saga began… 


	17. Allies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light remembers simpler, happier times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I find L/Ryuu offering Light comfort so sweet 😭

After L's death I had given up hope of finding anyone intelligent enough to talk to again but then she re-entered my life. 

Kiyomi Takada, or 'Miss To-Oh' as she was known, had become a sensation. She was the star of a Pro-Kira programme called 'Kira's Kingdom' and had reached out to me live on air.

I answered her call and we met up. I knew from the moment I saw her that despite her intelligence she was just as easy to manipulate as everyone else. She still desired me and I decided at once I would use it to my advantage, just as I'd done with Misa. 

Those women are nothing like my Ryuu. He wouldn't be bowled over with sweet looks and honeyed lies. He would look me in the eye and see through the mask in a way only he could. 

Still, she is an ally and a much needed one at that. The SPK is gaining momentum and support and due to my 'duties' as L I do not have as much time as I would like to devote to ridding the world of its fifth. 

Kiyomi Takada had the face and voice I needed to spread my message. I arranged a series of public judgements to occur during the live show 'Kira's Kingdom' and decided I would test her loyalty. If she exceeded my expectations I will consider giving her a few pages from the Death Note. 

Obviously Ryuk found the whole scheme hallitious for some reason but that didn't bother me. As long as the gangly idiot was entertained i am safe. 

It's night time again and Misa is sprawled out on the bed in some silky pink thing that turns my stomach. I don't sleep with her often but when I do it is always a chore. 

I'm surprised when Ryuu jumps up on the bed to join me and welcome him under the covers with open eyes. Perhaps it's the dim light but its like that sparkle is back in his eyes again. Cats are notoriously fickle and temperamental creatures so perhaps he's just decided I'm worth bothering with again. 

"Hey, little guy" I scoop him up and smile at the bit of pooch around his middle, "Matsuda's been given you too many treats again, huh?"

Ryuu meows and rubs his head against my hand. It is a comfort to have this little creatures love, as sad as it seems. I stroke my fingers through the fluffy black fur and find myself, as always, thinking about that unruly mane of black hair I loved to run my hands through. 

It was approaching four years since he died and the loss of him still cut as deep and sharp as a knife. Sometimes my mind goes in circles and I lose myself for a few moments to bittersweet memories and fantasies. 

L would have been the perfect ally for me. His intelligence is… was matched by none other than my own. 

_"Light-Kun, I want you to work out this Rubix Cube for me"_

_I looked at L in surprise. He knows how to figure that out, I've seen him toy with it before. This must be a test or perhaps a challenge? _

_L smiled at me as I accepted the plastic cube. "I want to see if you can beat my record" he explained, wide eyes serious and doleful as he stared at me. I was struck by how endearing he could look with those big eyes and a finger in his mouth before I shut those thoughts down and focused on more important things. _

_A competition. Of course. Well, I didn't intend to lose so I solved the puzzle as fast as I could as L timed me. 8.9 seconds. That was extremely good. _

_The smugness to L's smile, however, made me pause. Had he solved it faster? How was that even possible? _

_"6.2 seconds. You keep it, Light-Kun, and practice on solving it faster, perhaps I will challenge you again"_

_I grit my teeth in annoyance at L and at my grudging admiration for him and that ferociously intelligent mind he possessed… _

_That was the first time I had ever truly seen L for who he was. He had thrown down the gauntlet so I'd practice with the toy during breaks until I solved it faster. When I proudly solved it in 6.1 seconds, thus beating L's previous record. _

_L had congratulated me and complimented my tenacity before informing me his new record was now 5.8._

The bastard. 

The insufferable, adorable bastard. 

I reach into the bedside cabinet and rummage around for the Rubix cube. This, along with a candy wrapper, the chain and one of his shirts, is all I have left of L now. 

I can't really see the colors to be able to solve the puzzle but it doesn't matter. I just want to hold it as some tangible link to him. 

Ryuu looks up at me and meows when he spots my fiddling with the puzzle. It's odd but its almost like he seems to notice when I am handling things that used to belong to L. 

"You would have liked him" I scratch Ryuu's ear and smile as he curls up on my stomach in a warm, purring lump. "He would have spoiled you rotten"

Gray eyes flick open to look at me. I see intelligence in them and am reminded that Ryuu is not just any old cat. He is a genius, just like I am. Just like his namesake was. 

Perhaps this strange, intelligent little cat is the only ally I need. 

I fall asleep to the soothing sounds of his deep, content purrs and (for once) am treated to pleasant dreams of a time when my Ryuu (the real Ryuu) was the one lying in my arms… 


	18. Justice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light remembers what L thought of justice. He wakes up shaken and with the desire to kill. Misa pays the price for her 'failure' and L witnesses just how far Light has fallen from grace...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> R. I. P Misa. 
> 
> Maybe one of these days I will write a fic where you live... 🤔😂

_"Um… Ryuzaki? Can I talk to you a moment?"_

_L stopped what he was doing (namely building a tower out of coffee creamers and pondering why Light was so physically perfect) and swiveled his chair to face Matsuda. L sighed as Matsuda gave him a hopeful smile and nodded his head. _

_Matsuda rushed to sit down next to him like an eager child and L gave himself a mental pep-talk to try and be more understanding of Matsuda. Yes, he might be an easy target for sarcasm but he was a good man with his heart in the right place. _

_"What is it you would like to talk about, Matsuda-San?" L asked in what he hoped was a pleasant enough tone and not his usual bored drawl. _

_"Um… I'd like to talk about Justice"_

_L raised an eyebrow at that, his curiosity piqued. Matsuda wasn't exactly one to talk about such complex topics and he found himself intrigued. _

_"Alright" L nodded and waited for Matsuda to talk. The rookie cop blushed and rubbed the back of his neck as the silence dragged on. "Matsuda, when one says they would like to talk it means opening ones mouth and saying words not sitting in silence" L couldn't help it, prolonged, awkward silences irritated him. _

_"Well, okay, it's just I was wondering what your personal view of Kira is"_

_L stared at Matsuda for a full thirty seconds before answering. "Kira is a sociopath who possess a rather binary view on what 'Justice' is. As far as Kira is concerned their power alone is justification for taking lives. While I do not possess the same power as Kira does I too could order the death of pretty much anyone in the world and it would be done"_

_Matsuda shivered at the frank tone and loosened his tie. He didn't doubt that for a second and it was actually pretty terrifying now that he thought about it. _

_"The reason why I do not order the deaths of criminals is because I do not have the right to dictate when another's life ends. No person has that right, which is why murder is such a heinous crime. It subverts human nature and tricks the killer into thinking they have the right to take a life. Kira is nothing more than a child playing a game they do not understand"_

_"And… what about the people who are saying he is justice? I mean… he is killing murderers and rapists" Matsuda licked his lips, heart beating fast as he waited for L to respond. He'd wanted to find out L's own view on Kira for a while now but he'd always been too frightened to ask. He wasn't sure what had made him ask today but he was glad he did. When he wasn't being sarcastic or moody, L was a really fascinating guy to talk to. _

_"Yes, some of the people Kira kills are indeed vile specimins of humanity. But by killing them Kira is showing he is no better than they are. How is that justice? I am no better than they are. I take cases because they interest me. If I make the world a better place, good, but if I do not… well, that doesn't really bother me. I may say I am justice but the truth is, Matsuda-San, justice is simply an illusion that cannot exist. Justice is a different concept to each person therefore a defined concept of it does not exist and cannot exist. If you believe Kira's work is an example of justice that is up to you. I suspect you do have sympathies to Kira and although I do not agree with them I accept them"_

_Light, who had started listening mid-conversation, was absolutely fascinated by L's definition of justice. _

_Matsuda looked like he was struggling to keep up a bit but he finally nodded his head. "So Justice is different to each person?" He summarized with a scratch of his head. _

_"Yes. If Kira kills me they might be perceived as justice. Until the time they are overthrown by my heir. Even if I die, my justice will prevail. I know it. Kira will not triumph"_

Light gasped as he woke up, L's words still ringing in his mind. 

_'You were so convinced you would win yet you believed even if you died I would still be beaten. Your faith in your heir was unshakeable, even then'_

Feeling disturbed by the dream/memory, Light lay in bed for several long minutes as he thought about L's view on justice. It was remarkably similar to his own but there was one major difference. Light believed one could pass judgement on others. His powers were a divine gift! He was a God. L hadn't known anything about Shinigami and Death Notes when he'd said that so whilst his views on Justice were admirable, they were ill-informed. 

_'I wonder if you had the opportunity to use the Death Note for yourself and actually see the good Kira is doing would you still feel the same? Would you come around to my way of thinking and accept my justice?'_

Light scoffed as he answered his own question. Of course L wouldn't. L Lawliet, his Ryuu, was as stubborn as a mule.

"Liiiight? That bitch Takada is on the phone for you!"

L tilted his head in confusion as a positively murders look crossed Light's face.

Light sighed and climbed out of bed. Ryuu was already up, gazing at him in silent contemplation. Light shook his head at the cat and patted his head as he passed. He stopped at his desk and reached for a pen. 

"Yes, I think it's time now. No point in delaying it any longer. She can't give me what I want"

L watched Light leave the room before he padded over to the desk and stared down at the Death Note. His eyes widened as he saw the latest name Light had written:

_Misa Amane. _

_ **'What the hell is going on?'** _

L darted out of the room and ran downstairs. Light was all smiles as Misa clutched at her chest and whimpered in pain. 

"Sorry, Misa, but you just aren't useful anymore. Takada has the eyes and will be taking your place" Light explained as he took a sip of coffee, "You're barren Misa. I found the letter from the hospital"

L could only watch as Misa slumped to the ground, pretty eyes wide and vacant as her heart stopped beating. 

Light stepped over her body and grabbed his briefcase. He dialed his father and broke the news that his Misa had been struck down by Kira. He was actually crying and his acting was so flawless L felt physically repulsed. 

Was it any wonder Light had been able to pull the wool over their eyes for so long? 

_ **'You will not be able to deceive Near. He is closing in on you, Light, and I hope for your own sake he kills you soon whilst there is still some part of you that is decent left! '** _

L walked out of the room and slipped from the small cat's body. Ryuu tilted his head and gazed up at the pale form of the entity he considered a friend. 

'_**I want you to leave, Ryuu. He might end up killing you too and he deserves no more comfort from either of us. Go to Matsuda and become his pet. Light won't like it but he will accept it. Matsuda will keep you safe' **_

The little cat paused before nuzzling against L's leg. It looked like he was nuzzling into thin air but L smiled as he felt the cat's soft fur against his skin. 

Ryuu turned to Light and hissed, his sharp fangs flashing in the Light. Light scowled as he watched the cat bolt upwards to the kitchen window and run off. 

Had the cat been spooked? Surely the cat couldn't care that Misa was dead? 

"Ryuu!" Light stormed towards the kitchen window and yanked it open. "Get back here!"

L smiled as he watched the little black cat dart towards Matsuda's car that had just pulled up in the car park. It wasn't much, but it was justice. 

Why should Light have any comfort when all he did was destroy everything around him? 

Once he was assured of Ryuu's safety, L willed himself to return to the Kira HQ. It was time to check in with Near and take matters into his own hands. 

Light had just one year left of life left to him…


	19. Wammy's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet the Wammy's boys and find out Near's plan to overthrow Kira, assisted by L.

"So, any news?" The red-haired boy slouched over to his desk and sat down next to Near, "Other than the fact Kira is a giant douchebag?"

Mello snickered at his best friend and gave him a thumbs up. L watched the byplay between the Wammy's boys with a small smile. He was relieved to see them all actually (mostly) getting along and working together. 

"Yes. I am convinced I know who Kira is. Prosecuting him is doing to be difficult, however, considering the guise he is currently hiding behind" Near smiled and tapped on his keyboard. An image, captured by remote surveillance, of Light Yagami appeared. "Meet Kira"

Matt and Mello exchanged glances. Kira didn't look that much older than they did. It did make sense though, what with the Death of Misa Amane, an ex-Kira suspect herself and ex-fiance of Yagami Light. 

"He is otherwise known as L" Near informed his team as they gathered around. "I have suspected him for quite some time but thought it prudent to be absolutely certain before I brought it to your attention in case of unintentional bias. If he seems familiar to any of you it is probably because his father is Souichiro Yagami, the Chief of Police. I also have it on good authority that he was L's chief suspect for a time and that L had even had them handcuffed together"

"How'd you find that out?" Giovanni frowned as the name clicked. He knew he'd come across the name Yagami before… 

"One of the members of the Kira Task Force has a big mouth" Near smiled mischievously. "Plus I took a leaf out of our mentors book and bugged his house" he added as he received blank stares. 

_**'Three guesses as to who has a big mouth on the Task Force. Good job, Near!'**_ L thought with amusement. Who knew Matsuda's love for gossip and drama would actually prove useful? 

"So what do we do? If this Yagami character is Kira how do we prove it?" Halle asked sharply. 

"We need to flush him out" Mello answered with a devious smile on his face, "Matt and I will take care of that"

Near nodded his agreement. "I have had Yagami tailed for the last few weeks and have come to learn he is associating with two people of interest. Kiyomi Takada and Teru Mikami. Both of them are public supporters and advocates of Kira. Light is associating with them under the guise of investigation as far as the Task Force is concerned, but I believe due to the discrepancies between the Kira killings he has actually passed his powers onto them and using them as proxies. In short, we now have three Kira's to apprehend, not one"

"Great" Giovanni rolled his eyes. "Should we get Aiber and Wedy involved? The old L trusted them"

_**'Okay, Rude' **_L thought huffily. 

"Yes. I would like you to arrange for them to return to Kira HQ. Their expertise will be needed" Near gave Roger, who was still a sour old goat and not a patch on Watari in L's opinion, a nod. The old man (L refused to think of him as Watari) nodded back and began handing out a pile of documents to each member of the SPK. 

"In these documents you will find my outlined plan on how we will beat Kira. Ensure you read them thoroughly. I am, of course, open to criticism provided it is actually valid. The goal is to apprehend Kira and I believe the plan I've formulated is our best shot"

L was itching to read Near's plan so moved behind Halle so he could read over her shoulder. It was frustrating waiting for to finish reading and turn the page but L reminded himself that she had never been a Wammy's Kid. She'd never been taught to read a page of A4 in just six seconds. 

Near's plan was daring, audacious and honestly something L would have attributed to Mello rather Near. 

Near wanted to infiltrate the Task Force to sow seeds of division. He wanted to kidnap Kiyomi Takada and, much to L's delight, publically have a tail on Teru Mikami that went around the clock. Near had deduced that it was Mikami who was currently committing most of the 'judgements' as they fired his MO. 

"But there isn't proof to say with 100% certainty that he is" Halle pointed out. 

"Indeed. That is why we need Aiber and Wedy. They are going to secure the proof we need to prosecute. It will put pressure on Yagami and splinter the Task Force. I will then challenge him for my title as L and arrange to meet him face to face"

"What? But we don't know how he kills" Matt shook his head, "That's like signing your death warrant, N!"

Near smiled and brought up another screen on the monitors. This was the private document L had typed up and sent to Near himself. It was the document detailing the truth about Kira's power, Shinigami and Death Notes. L was still deliberating over whether or not to reveal himself to the Wammy's boys, but he had taken a risk typing up that document. He'd hacked into Near's survers to do it (something even Matt could not accomplish) and Near had instantly believed his old Mentor was close by. 

"L wrote this and it was documented Higuchi was in possession of a black notebook at the time of his death. It may seem fanciful but tell me this, how else could a man have the power Yagami possesses if not through supernatural origins? L believed in it and I believe in L. This is the path we follow to convict Kira"

L spent the remainder of the week in a near constant state of awe and pride as he watched his heirs work together to bring about the end of Kira's rule. 

He was filled with hope for the future. Kira would fail but perhaps Light, his Light, would be saved in the process. 

L hoped that in Mu, Watari was looking down and smiling upon them because he knew in his heart that Wammy's House and its prodigies would triumph. 


	20. Criminal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikami's motivation for joining Kira are revealed and Light ponders what being a criminal really means...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was doing so well with this challenge. Then I worked on my other fics and forgot about this one... Oops. 🤔
> 
> Hoping to still complete it but I've got a good dose of flu so it depends on how I feel. We shall see!

Teru Mikami had always aspired to live in a world where people were treated fairly. Bullied relentlessly as a child, he had lost count of the nights he had cried himself to sleep. 

As he grew from a timid child to an intelligent teenager, he despaired at the state of humanity. The world was overpopulated with people who were happy to trample over others to achieve what they wanted. The world was cruel, and Teru Mikami wished for something to believe in as he struggled through college. All he had was his studies and his dream to be a criminal prosecutor. He would create the change he wanted to see. He might not be able to erase every criminal on the planet, but he would damn well leave his mark. 

He would never be 'four-eyed' weakling Mikami again. 

He graduated at 22 and by 30 he was earning a six figure salary as one of Japan's top prosecutors. He took pride and satisfaction with each and every monster he put behind bars. 

And then, like a beacon of hope, he heard about the divine judgments of Kira. He dedicated hours to trying to find out who Kira was but considering he (Mikami was convinced Kira was a man) was alluding the World's Greatest Detective, he didn't rate his chances highly. 

So he decided to dedicate his life and his work to Kira. He showed public support for Kira and ran numerous popular blogs about 'Kira the Savior' 

Eventually he was invited onto 'Kira's Kingdom' and, after a time, became an acquaintance of Kiyomi Takada the voice of Kira. Mikami proved his worth and devotion to Kira and was rewarded with the honor of meeting his Kami in the flesh. 

He had felt awe when he first beheld the young man who had changed the world. He was classically handsome but more striking than his god looks were his burning eyes. They were filled with righteous wrath and determination. 

Mikami had fallen to his knees before his god and swore on his life to serve him faithfully. He was blessed indeed when his God smiled at him and nodded his head. 

Teru Mikami was not a four-eyed weakling anymore. He was to be his god's right hand man. With the power of the Death Note he would delete each and every criminal that polluted the world. 

Mikami beamed as he saw the secure number of his Kami flash on his phone. He answered at once. 

"God! How can I assist you?"

"I want you to meet me at the penthouse. Takada is on her way to pick you up. I wish to discuss my plans with you"

"I am honored, Kami! I will prepare to leave right away!"

Kira, who expected nothing else than such blind obedience to his will, hung up the phone without another word. 

********************

_"Kira is killing criminals and yet he is a criminal himself. The hypocrisy is almost amusing"_

_Light bit his tongue and forced himself to smile thinly at the Detective. He just knew L was trying to rile him and force a confession out of him. _

_"He is a criminal" Light answered instead. "One cannot claim otherwise, right?"_

_L swiveled around in his chair and pointed to the opinion polls the Japanese Government had issued. 45% of the Japanese population agreed with Kira's actions. _

_"Those people can" L replied blandly. "But I suppose as with a lot of things what constitutes as 'criminality' is subjective"_

_Light nodded his head. In his eyes L was a criminal and he (despite his attraction to the dark haired man) was looking forward with relish to the day he would take out this particular criminal… _

Light scoffed as the memory filtered through his thoughts. He had only just began his serious crusade as Kira and had been filled with nothing but irritation for the Detective. 

The love would come later and blossom when he'd forgotten who he was. Now he didn't view L as a criminal. L had been misguided in his beliefs and he had paid the price for it. 

Light sighed as he glanced at the clock on the wall. Mikami and Takada were due to arrive in another twenty minutes but he found himself feeling rather… lonely. 

_'Fucking Ryuu, can't believe he picked Matsuda over me'_ Light would admit it to no one but he was missing that cat terribly. Without Ryuu the loneliness of his existence was made all the more stark. 

Ryuk was hardly what he would consider a decent companion. The Shinigami would sometimes giggle to himself and stare pointedly at the space above his head. Light had tried to find out his lifespan but the irritating Shinigami had muttered something about the 'code' and that Light would just have to be patient and wait to die like everyone else. 

_'But I won't die. I am not like everyone else. I am not just a human being. I am a god!' _

He felt irritation spike within him as he remembered what 'N' had broadcast that morning. 

_'Kira is a despicable killer and the most disgusting type of criminal. Kira will be brought to justice!'_

"We will see about that, won't we, N?" Light chuckled to himself as he strolled over to the window and stared at the skyline. His eyes caught the title of the book on the coffee table through the reflection in the window and his heart skipped a beat. 

It was L's copy of 'Criminal minds' that he'd loaned him. For obvious reasons Light had never returned it.

Feeling a sense of soul crushing loneliness seep over him, Light picked up the book and retired to his room. He pulled out a small locked box from underneath the bed and reached for the only thing that could comfort him. 

It didn't smell like him anymore but the feel of the soft cotton and the familiarity of it was good enough. 

Light sat down on the bed and held L's shirt to his chest as he tried to read the book. His eyes read the words but his brain refused to absorb them. His mind was far away and lost in a time where he couldn't wait for night to come to take this shirt off L's body… 


	21. Sweets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light visits home and has a break down. Despite his earlier conviction he will not offer any comfort, L feels compelled to return to Light's side as he remembers a sweet memory from their past.

He might be a God but that did not mean Light Yagami was stupid enough to not attend a family dinner his mother insisted he go to. Until his power had been fully cemented it was vital he keep up appearances and interact (minimally, if he could help it) with his family. 

He hadn't been home in a while (blaming Misa's tragic death and a hectic work schedule) so he supposed the visit was long overdue. 

Sayu had text earlier and had seemed very excited about a sweet hamper she had received for her birthday. Just the thought of all those sweets immediately brought him to mind and Light felt his stomach churn with guilt. 

It wasn't getting any easier. Five years had passed and yet L continued to dominate his thoughts. He felt like those dark eyes were fixed on him and sometimes, usually in the dead of night when he couldn't sleep, he'd call out to L and hope he'd answer. 

He never did. 

"Hey, Big Bro!" Sayu bounced over to him and flung her arms around his neck. Light flinched as he felt the soft press of breasts against his chest. When the hell had that happened?! 

"Hey, Sayu" Light extracted himself from her embrace and smiled at her. It showed how seldom he visited home anymore when he could scarcely recognize his own sister. 

Home was just the same. His father and mother were just the same. Everything felt so stale, clinical and boring. Light ate the food his mother had prepared, complimented her cooking (as expected of him) then made an excuse to head up to his room to pick up some bits he'd forgotten to take during his last visit. 

Light paused to listen to his family chattering away happily downstairs and entered his bedroom. He'd never felt more alienated from them than he did now. Sayu had been sharing out goodies from her sweet hamper and it made him feel sick. Their inane small talk and simple minds made him feel sick. 

They didn't understand him. The only one who understood him was now six feet underground. 

_'And it is all my fault!'_

Light growled at himself for giving into the guilt and yanked open his bedroom door with more force than was really necessary. 

Light looked around his room. It contained a clothes horse and a pile of Sayu's old clothes and Light snorted at the slow evolving of his room into the families dumping ground. Like he cared anyway, there was no way he would ever live under this roof again. Still… it was touching that his mother had kept it clean and tidy for him. She'd even refused to go through his desk drawers, a task Light had been meaning to do but had thus far eluded him. 

Light paused as he remembered something from what felt like a lifetime ago… 

_"Light, I'd like you to have these"_

_Light was surprised when L placed a bag of Watermelon sweets in his hand. What planet was he on? Surely he'd somehow ended up in a parallel universe or something because there was no way the L he knew and (sort of) loved would willingly give up candy. _

_"Uh… thanks?" Light frowned at the sweets in confusion. He wasn't exactly partial to such sugary junk food but he'd tried this particular brand before and thought it was alright. It hadn't made him buy any since but at least he recognised what they were. _

_"I actually hate watermelon flavoured sweets" L informed him with large, solemn eyes. Light wondered if L viewed being given watermelon sweets a travesty of injustice. _

_He probably did. _

_"I told Watari" L continued blithely as they continued walking to their room, "But he said they came in a multi-pack so I thought I'd give them to you…"_

_Light felt like he was missing something important here. L was looking up at him with an expectant look on his face and suddenly it all clicked. Today was February the 14th! Valentines day! It was customary to give your crush something sweet! Was L his crush… _ _Well… sort of, yes. He'd certainly spent enough time thinking and fantasizing about him to warrant that title. _

_Light thanked his lucky stars he'd actually bought Misa a box of chocolates this year and smiled at L. They'd be much better suited to his tastes anyway, plus he'd been ignoring his phone ringing half the day. He'd think of an excuse to give to Misa and pick a stupid stuffed toy or something for her tomorrow. _

_"That is very kind of you" Light finally replied, "I have chocolates for you"_

_L's face lit up and Light felt his heart beat faster in his chest. Fuck he really needed to sort out these troublesome feelings of his… _

_"Really? Thank you, Light!"_

Light walked over to his desk drawer and opened it. There, exactly where he had left them five years ago, lay the unopened packet of watermelon sweets. 

"Oh, L…" Light felt despair wash over him as he stared down at the dusty packet of sweets. Fat tear drops plopped onto the plastic as gave himself over to grief. 

_**"Oh, Light"** _L sighed, his own eyes filled with tears as he watched Light break down. "_**How I wish things could have been different for you…"**_

L wiped at his eyes and stepped closer to Light's trembling form. He hesitated. Should he… he hadn't let Light feel him in so long… He promised himself he wouldn't return to Light and give him comfort but... 

His heart ached for him to do so. This love he had for his _**killer **_was utterly irrationa. 

"L" it was the broken sob that made up his mind. L wrapped his arms around that shaking back and nuzzled his nose into the nape of Light's neck. 

_ **"I'm here, I'm here, Light...I love you"** _

Light's breath hitched as he felt a sudden warmth cover his back and he could have sworn he smelt that familiar tang of vanilla and sweets… 

"L…?" Light whispered like a terrified child. "Are… are you really here or am I imagining this? I don't know what's real anymore…"

L closed his eyes and sighed softly. He knew come the morning Light would deny such an experience had even happened so there was no point in exerting more energy just for it to be wasted. He wrapped his arms tighter around Light and marvelled at how he could love and hate the same person so fiercely.

_ **I suppose there really is a fine line between love and hate ** _

L sighed once again and pressed closer to Light. He wanted to sink inside his skin and just be him for a while. He wanted everything in this bittersweet moment. He wanted Light to renounce the Death Note, his heirs to stop Pershing Kira and for Light to whisper 'Ryuu' so tenderly in his ear again… 

As with a lot of things, L Lawliet knew he wouldn't get what he wanted. With the dawn Kira would once again establish his dominance over Light and the deadly game of cat and mouse be tween Kira and Near would take another step to its grim conclusion… 


	22. Kira

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L witnesses Kira's madness and decides to return to Mu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: LightxMikami scene. Kira being a violent, sociopath and an utter loony.

Japan's prime minister publically bowed to Kira and China's government were seriously considering following suit. 

Kira's divine judgment was known the world over and his name was synomisis with either fear and loathing or love and devotion. 

Kira was a deeply divisive figure. 

And Light wouldn't have it any other way. He tipped his head back to rest against the sleek leather of his recliner and sighed as he felt Mikami's clever tongue trace the veins of his cock. Mikami knew his place and was a willing hole to use and right now his tongue felt exquisite. 

The way Light saw it he was an upgrade on Misa. Even if his technique wasn't a patch on his. 

Light smiled darkly and closed his eyes. It always came back to him. Even now when he was trying to relax and celebrate his latest victory. The world was slowly bowing down to him and he had a handsome man on his knees sucking his cock like he was being paid for it… but it still wasn't enough. 

It would never be enough. 

Kira hissed at Mikami to take him deeper and gasped out his pleasure at the way Mikami's throat constricted around his cock as he gagged. In his mind he was imagining a mop of pitch black hair hovering over his groin and a far more skilled mouth sucking him in. His Ryuu was on his knees, large gray eyes flicking up to his face and captivating him over and over again.

Mikami did something with his tongue and Kira cried out. It made the fantasy real. 

"Ryuu!" Suddenly Kira's hands were gentle on slim shoulders and Mikami tried not to shudder as he realised his God was now fucking someone else's mouth. His mouth. 

_'What's new. Still, if it pleases him then it pleases me!'_ Mikami thought as he forced himself to breath through his nose and soak up those gentle touches. 

"Oh, Ryuu, you're so good at this" Kira crooned, "I'm gonna come!"

Dark eyes flick up to his and Kira swears he sees a naughty glimmer of excitement in them. He throws his head back and comes with a scream. 

His come is swallowed down eagerly and Kira laughs as he strokes Ryuu's hair back from his face tenderly. "I love you so much, my beautiful Ryuu"

Mikami swallows the last of his Kami's seed and slowly eases the softening penis out of his mouth. He is loathe to remind his god that his fantasy is not real but he knows what is coming next. 

Sure enough, a hardness settles over Kira's face and he is suddenly jerked away roughly. 

"You are not Ryuu" Kira hisses at him. 

Mikami swallows thickly at the sight of tears welling in those expressional eyes. "N-no, Kira-Sama, I am not Ryuu" Mikami mumbles. Oh how he wish he was! To have his Kami touch him gently and sigh his name with such adoration… 

"Ryuu is dead" Kira's voice breaks and he giggles. "He's dead! He's bones! He's nothing!" Kira throws his head back and lets out a laugh that to anyone but Mikami would be considered insane. "L Lawliet! Ryuzaki! Ryuu! Dead, Dead, DEAD!"

Mikami stumbled to his feet and bowed his head. "He is dead, yes, Kira-Sama"

Kira suddenly lurches to his feet and backhands him across the room. Mikami closes his eyes and savors the pain as it explodes behind his eyes. It is like a holy gift, to feel Kira's pain through him. He stumbles to his feet then drops to his knees in silent reverence. Kira is breathing harshly as he glares down at him through tear-filled eyes. 

L, who had been watching the entire time, silently walks through the wall and decides he has seen enough. He will cross over and join Watari in Mu. He cannot keep doing this to himself. Every time he tries to leave Light's side he is drawn back. He'd witnessed the killing and the deception and the lies but this… somehow this was what hurt the most. His Light was insane and yet he still loved him. 

There is no hope of Light ever seeing or feeling him again because Light is as dead as he is. 

Kira is all that is left.

L is unsure how it happens but when he next opens his eyes he is standing in a great field under a twilight sky. He feels calm and peaceful. 

"L!"

The figures of an old man, a woman and a little child approach out of the gloom and L falls to his knees as he's overcome with emotion. 

"Watari!" 


	23. TaskForce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Near has some unsettling home truths for Kira and the Task Force, and the seeds of division are sown.

N contacts the TaskForce and accuses him publically of being Kira. 

Light handles the situation with his usual skill and grace when it came to manipulation. He shrugs off the accusation and states he was chosen by L himself to inherit his title. 

"That is a lie, Light Yagami. L chose me as his successor. Tell me, what is your belief regarding spirits?"

Aizawa and Mogi looked at each other in confusion. It wasn't such a stretch from literal death gods and killer notebooks, but they hadn't expected the usual cold and clinical N to say something like that. 

"Pardon?" Light scoffed. "Do you want to tell me a ghost story, Near?" He moved, mostly to hide his surprise at the question. Ryuk slapped his knee and cackled while Souichiro shook his head at his son's tone.

"Yes. I was told you killed L Lawliet by L Lawliet himself. His spirit used to watch over you. Tell me, Light, have you felt a strange absence lately? It is because he has abandoned you"

Light couldn't hide the shock on his face. His skin drained of color and he swallowed hard. There was no way that was true. All the times he had thought he'd felt L where manifestations of his own guilty conscience and his desire to feel close to L again. Spirits did not exist… 

"What the actual fuck?" Matsuda looked between the screen and Light. L Lawliet?… L's real name… he shivered and crossed his arms over his chest. 

"N, I am honestly surprised you would sink so low" Light finally answered, "I assure you that I did not kill L, nor would I ever have done so because I am not Kira. I've been working tirelessly to capture him for all these years, as have my team, but capturing Kira is like trying to hold smoke-"

"Has Matsuda's cat started treating you coldly?" Near butted in, a smug quality to his voice that was decipherable despite the voice-scrambler. "It's because L's spirit no longer resides in him. L told him to go to Matsuda because he was worried you'd snap and kill it"

Matsuda plucked up the cat by his feet and clutched him tightly. There was no way he was leaving Light alone with him again, even if N was lying. 

"Contact me if you have any _real_ information about the Kira case" Light hissed out through gritted teeth and disconnected the call. He felt the eyes of the Taskforce on him and forced himself to smile thinly, "Clearly this N is a bit… unhinged. Talking about cats and spirits… "

"How did he know about Ryuu?" Aizawa said slowly, "No one outside of this room is aware we have a cat walking around the place. How did he know L's real name?" Suspicion darkened Aizawa's eyes as he stared at Light. "Don't you think it's funny how both L and now Near suspect Light of being Kira?"

"Aizawa!" Souichiro exploded, automatically defending his son, "I am shocked to hear you say that!"

"He's got a point though" Mogi, usually so silent during such things, piped up quietly. "I'd like some time alone to discuss this with the team. Without you present, Light"

Light scoffed but quietened when he realised Mogi was being serious. The last thing he needed was the Task Force breathing down his neck. He'd kept them in the dark for years so why were they suddenly so suspicious of him now… Light's attention was caught by the cat who hoped out of Matsuda's lap and walked from the room. 

Was it because of the damned cat?! 

"Fine then. I will give you the time you need" Light forced a smile and strolled out of the room. The second the door closed behind him his smile faded and was replaced by a murderous scowl. "Are spirits real, Ryuk? Has L been with me and plotting against me this whole time?"

Ryuk burst out laughing at the question and gleefully nodded his head. "Oh yeah, spirits are real, Kid. L's working with Near and the SPK to bring you down! I would have told you sooner but where's the fun in that?"

Ice spread through him and Light leaned heavily against the wall. All those times he had thought he had felt L… they were real. L had remained by his side. 

_'But I don't have the time for sentimental thoughts. He's turned the Task Force against me! If I kill them it is going to make it obvious to N that he is correct in his suspicious of me… L, you bastard! Even now your pulling strings!'_

Far away in Mu, L smiled bitterly as he watched Kira panic. Sowing the seeds of distrust in the Task Force members had been a slow process, but it had been worth it. Everything was unraveling for Kira and soon it would all be over… 

_'I just hope some part of Light Yagami remains in you. I have to keep hoping that' L closed his eyes and bowed his head solemnly. _

20 more days to go… 


	24. God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L finally appears before Light with a grim promise: when Light dies he will be the one to judge him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this AU murdered souls can judge their murderers. I just thought it was a neat idea and ties in with the forgiveness/suffering arc. 
> 
> Really glad this challenge is nearly over. It's been enjoyable and challenging bit quite draining as well!

Near has challenged me to meet him face to face and obviously I have accepted. I have no choice, as irritating as that is to admit. Our meeting is scheduled for January 28th. I have a week left to stew in my anger and plot my revenge. 

I've disbanded the Task Force and apparently most of them have already joined the SPK. I wouldn't say I'm in hiding but I cannot move freely either. Near, and L, have succeeded in turning the Task Force against me and I know I am being monitored. 

What they don't realize is that I am a God. The killings continue at my command as I pretend to be heartbroken at their lack of faith in me. My father still visits (even though he shouldn't) and it gives me an insight into what Near is planning. Of course, Soichiro Yagami is too noble to break confidence and tell me directly, but I can read him. 

Somehow Near knew that I was using Takada as a proxy and moved against her. I do not believe Mikami is a person of interest yet, and I am determined to keep him close. He is the eyes of his god and has an even bigger role to fulfill now that Misa and Takada are gone. 

In the wake of Takada's death and the kidnapping of my sister by Mello, I have to strike back. I will use Mikami's eyes to kill Near and his SPK. I will kill the Taskforce as well. 

There can be no mercy now. 

Takada was pregnant when she died. I wrote her name down and made yet another sacrifice for my glorious new world. This sacrifice hurt nearly as much as killing Ryuu did. 

In ten days time they will all by lying dead at my feet. Even my father. After all that I have lost and sacrificed his death will mean virtually nothing to me anyway. I cannot be a God when my own father stands in my way. He still believes in my innocence, and I will enjoy smiling down at him as he dies. 

Ryuk seems more excitable than ever lately and I know he can sense things are coming to a close. Perhaps the foolish Shinigami believes my death is approaching? 

How little faith he has in me. I will show him. I will show everyone. Even L. 

"L" I say loudly, eyes scanning the room for any sign or indication his spirit is there. "Come out and face me. I know you've been here all this time. You've been working with Near"

I don't know if it's my imagination but I feel a cool breeze against my cheek. I have full faith that he is here with me now. Is this the reason I couldn't sense him before? 

I unscrew a pen and toss it onto the sofa next to the whiteboard. Ryuk used to communicate with me like this when we were experimenting with what we could get away with. Just like with apples, the pen was visible so we chalked the form of communication off as a bad idea. 

"Write for me, L" I command. I am a God and God must be obeyed. I suck in an excited breath as the pen hovers in thin air and words (in his messy scrawl) begin to appear on the whiteboard. 

**You realise you could just ASK to see me and save us both the bother of this little charade, don't you, Kira? **

I narrow my eyes at the flippant, disrespectful tone. "I want to see you. Show yourself to me"

The air seems to shimmer and merge into strange, translucent patterns and suddenly he's there. Same dark eyes, same impassive, beautiful pale face. 

"Ryuu!" Seeing him makes me overcome with emotion and I fall to my knees in front of him. I always thought I could only believe in what was tangible and real. L is tangible and he is real. 

L is here with me. 

How ironic. A 'God' on his knees before me.

_ **Get up, Kira. ** _

L's voice was strange and haunting and the flicker of wry amusement in his gray eyes keeps me where I am. I can't move even though I want to. I want to reach out and punch him for his insolence. I want to kiss him. 

_ **I've been with you all this time. I possessed little Ryuu and stayed close to you. Despite my better judgement I wanted to comfort you. But I could stay with you no longer when you began to change. You aren't Light anymore. Kira has rotted your mind and soon you will be dead-** _

"No! I will win" my anger gives me the strength I need. I surge to my feet and stumble across the room to him. L doesn't flinch when I reach out for him but I do when I realise I am touching nothing but air. I can't feel him. 

_**You can't touch me, Kira, I am dead. I'm not of this realm anymore**_. 

L informs me with a doleful tone in his voice. I can do nothing but stroke the air and wish it was his warm skin. 

_ **Since you were the one who killed me I will be your judge. You will have to convince me that you are worthy of passing to Mu. If you do not you will be trapped in the human realm for as long as it pleases me. You see, Kira, I am YOUR god now. I have power over you. ** _

No way. I cannot believe that. I refuse to believe that! 

I don't want to talk to you anymore, Kira, I will see you again in ten days time. 

L's waspish voice stings me and suddenly he's gone. Nothing remains of him but a slight shimmer in the air where he once stood and I am rendered speechless, on my knees, in the wake of his fury. 

L is my god now? 

I can't stop the giggle that bubbles up my throat and soon I am laughing hysterically with tears running down my face. 

"You were always my god, Ryuu! I loved you! Come back, please come back!"

He doesn't come back and I am left on my knees, sobbing and lau ghing as Ryuk sniggers at me. 

I've never felt less divine… 


	25. Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light dies. 
> 
> Yup. Sorry kids. 😂

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This weekend is going to be super busy so I'm just going to post what I have written so far in one go. The rest of the chapters will probably be late but bear with me! They will be posted eventually 🤔😊

Finally today it will be all over. Today Kira will be killed and his legacy of bloodshed will finally come to an end. I do not know how he will die, only that his numbers run out in just two hours time from now. 

Kira believes he can keep Near and the SPK talking and use Mikami to write their names down. He doesn't realise there is a flaw, or a loophole, to every plan, even ones as clever as his own. 

Mikami's notebook has been swapped with a fake. His real Death Note and the fake one have been replaced with imitations. Light will have not seen this coming since we have done all we can to convince him Takada was our target all along and not Mikami. Mello and Matt willingly played into Light's hands with Takada. Light wrote her name down but what he didn't realize was that so had Mikami. 

That had alerted the SPK to the possibility of a fake Notebook. Due to his arrogance and assumption Mikami would not make a move without his permission, Light had been out maneuvered. 

I feel both proud and sad as I look upon the warehouse district. Light will soon be arriving. He'll walk confidently to his death because he believes he is unbeatable. 

I've harnessed enough power from the members of the SPK to maintain a physical form that everyone would be able to see. 

Everything has come full circle now. I will look down on the one I love as he dies. 

Just as he did to me. 

If it wasn't so heartbreaking I would laugh at the fucked up irony of it and tragedy that our love has become. 

My only hope now is that time will heal the wounds between us and bring Light back to me. 

*************

"You, Light Yagami, are Kira"

I am… dumbfounded. For a moment I can do nothing but stare at the white haired brat in incomprehension. Why is he not dead?! Mikami wrote their names. 

Nate River! 

My father is crying silently and Matsuda, that idiot, is openly blubbering like the child he is. The sight of them sickens me. I can feel my face distort and I grin at them menacingly. 

"That's right… I am Kira. What are you going to do about it?"

Ryuk will write their names. He has to if he wants his entertainment to continue… 

"I always knew you were Kira, but it's strangely vindicating to hear you say it"

Everyone startles at that voice and all heads turn to the spectral image of L, my Ryuu, standing midway on a flight of stairs. 

"Ryuzaki?!" 

"Hello, Matsuda-San" there is a wry smile on L's face and it makes my breath hitch. I've missed that smile… 

"Ryuu"

L's smile fades at my whisper of recognition. "Kira. You have lost"

What? The bastard thinks I will just roll over and accept my fate? That he has power over me? I reach for my watch, almost without thinking, and am filled with determination. If I am going to die I am taking Nate River with me. 

"He's got a piece of the notebook!"

I manage to write until the I before I feel a blinding pain shooting through my hand. The distant sound of a gun firing rings in my ears and I look up in disbelief. Matsuda shot me?! 

"Matsuda, you idiot! " I scream in outrage, "Just who do you think your shooting at?!" I turn my eyes to Mikami, my useless puppet. He is just standing in a frozen state of shock. "You betrayed me!"

Mikami gibbers something out and Near, that disgusting little bastard, informs me of the plot the SPK and L hatched to trick us. Mikami's error has led to this. I lunge at Mikami and wrap my bleeding hand around his throat. Mikami's eyes water as I begin to choke him and I feel nothing but vengeance and fury pulse through me. 

"Light. Enough"

I let out a choked sound as he approached me and I let go of Mikami. This weakness of mine will be the real cause of my death. 

It is a moment of perfect, bitter clarity. 

It is over. This is the death of my dream. 

The Death of Kira. 

Ryuk's howls of laughter sound far away as I feel the kiss of steel handcuffs on my wrists. He pulls out his Death Note and I know the bastard is writing my name. 

Everything is blurry. My father's sobs, Mikami's pained screams and L's dark eyes wash over me in a riot of sensation before the ground rushes up to meet me. 

"Mr Shinigami, have you written his name down?" Near asks politely. I can scarcely hear him through the pain that radiates through my chest. I put Ryuu through this! I want to open his eyes and apologize to him but I can't. 

Ryuk's answer is a deranged cackle and I assume he's probably nodding his head like the idiot he is. 

I feel a cool touch to my forehead and I know he is there with me. Despite everything that I've done to him he is offering me comfort as the heart attack rips through me. 

My last thought before my eyes close forever is that I don't even care anymore. This is finally over… 

My Ryuu is with me. 

I'm ready for death. 

******************

L slowly stands and looks around the warehouse. Matt and Mello are leaning over the fallen body of Mikami. He had used a sharpened blade to slit his wrists in an act L could only assume was meant to provide an opportunity for Kira to escape. 

The once promising prosecutor lay in a pool of his own blood, a pained grimace frozen on his face. 

Kira however looked strangely peaceful. His beautiful features were calm and he almost appeared to be asleep. 

"I would have preferred to see him rot in jail" Mello mutters as he bites into a chocolate bar and points at Kira's corpse. 

"He was mine to kill" Ryuk announces and lets his wings flare out behind him. "I've got to go. It's been fun!" He launches himself into the air and is gone, nothing but a slowly descending black feather to show he was ever there to begin with. 

L knew how everyone was feeling because he had felt it countless times himself. They were feeling hollow. The Kira case had ended and Kira was dead. It was almost anti-climatic, this ending. 

But death isn't the ending. It's only the beginning L thought as he saw a ray of sunlight filter in through the crack in the roof and spill over Kir a's body. 

He had to take that for a sign that somehow there was still hope for Light's soul… 


	26. Successor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light struggles to accept his new reality. L's successor's don't make it any easier.

Two weeks after Light Yagami's death, Near officially closed the Kira case. The world could never know about the terrible power that the Death Note possessed. 

Fearing weaponization attempts, Near ordered his team to secrecy on punishment of death. He was L now and he could silence anyone across the world, just as Kira had done albeit it in a less supernatural fashion. 

Near wasn't good with people but he was good at reading them. He knew each member of the TaskForce and the SPK would hold their tongue. The consequences were too dire to do anything else. 

It was of no surprise when Souichiro Yagami announced his resignation. His wife and child did not know of Light's double life as Kira and they were all grieving for a son and brother. Near accepted it with silence and wished Souichiro well. 

It was all he could do. 

He was L's successor and yet he had inherited a world turned upside down. Despite Kira's death there were countless millions who still prayed to him. Candlelit vigils were held across the world to honor and remember a criminal who had, by the time of his death, killed hundreds of thousands of people. 

The world wanted answers and Near could empathize with that. Not knowing the answer to something automatically made one more curious about it. It was human nature. 

Yet he refused to budge despite the press clamouring for answers. Kira's power would die with him… until another bored Shinigami dropped their Death Note to earth. Near could only hope it wouldn't be anytime soon. 

Matt and Mello remained by his side in the months following the Kira case, and one night Mello even tried using a Ouija board to contact L. 

"It won't work. He is in Mu now" Near muttered as Mello cursed and pushed the board away from him. "You could try contacting Yagami, no doubt he is still trapped here on earth"

"The fuck would I want to talk to _that_ prick about?" Mello huffed. Still, the idea of rubbing their victory in Kira's face did sound tempting. "... Do you think it would work?"

"I don't know. L came to me directly but, in an attempt to be logical about this sort of thing, it wouldn't hurt to try. L said before he returned to Mu that Light must suffer a hundred years in the human realm and repent what he has done if his soul is to be spared. Although it's only been a few months I would be interested to see how Yagami is faring with his exile" 

Matt and Mello exchanged a sly glance before Matt reached out for the Ouija board. "Can't hurt to try. Near, you in?"

Near, despite now being L and holding the world in the palm of his hand, was only an eighteen year old boy and he was fascinated in such things. Since L had appeared to him he had been researching the occult to expand and inform his mind of things he had previously believed simply didn't exist. 

The kira case had opened his eyes to an entire realm of possibility he had, in his desire for tangible proof, had once ignored. 

"Yes" Near joined them on the floor and smiled as Mello set up the board once again. It would be fun if they did manage to contact Yagami. He could only imagine the torment that lost soul was experiencing… 

*****************

"Ryuuuu!" 

Light was surprised to feel his throat hurt after all his screaming. He was surprised he was feeling anything at all. 

He'd hoped now that he was dead he would be able to cross over and be with L but L had left him stranded here in the dark of his old bedroom.Everything was normal around him but no one could see or hear him. He was trapped and filled with fear as the long days passed. His mother had placed a vase of lilies on his desk and the once happy home was quiet and somber with mourning. 

It was _**stifling**_. 

How had L been able to stand being trapped in the human realm for so long? It was slowly suffocating him and he ached to pass on to Mu. 

Light curled up as he thought about what he had been told. L had inhabited the form of a cat and had harassed energy from those around him. If he did the same perhaps his ordeal would be more tolerable? 

_'But he said I couldn't do any of that. He wants me to suffer for what I've done'_

Light climbed to his feet. Fuck L, he had to try. It was not in his nature to just give in. Kira might have been defeated but he was still Light Yagami and Light Yagami didn't let anything get in his way. 

Just as he was concentrating on trying to move the vase when he felt a pull and then the world was spinning and shifting around him sickeningly. 

_'What? What's happening to me!'_

When he next opened his eyes he found himself in a place he never thought to see again. The Kira HQ. 

His eyes narrowed in hatred as he saw the three successors sat on the floor with a Ouija board before them. 

_'They… they summoned me?!'_ Light was incensed with rage. How _**dare**_ they! 

"Is it me or does it feel suddenly colder in here?" Matt asked as the hair rose on the back of his neck. 

"A spirit is here" Near murmured. The drop in temperature and the static in the air was the same as when L was around. 

"Heh, if it's you, Kira-Sama, let us know" Mello scoffed. 

Light snarled and stormed over to them. If he could kill them he'd snap their necks. It was his anger that gave him the energy he needed to move that stupid glass around the board. 

**Fuck you**

"Ha! It is him" Matt snickered. "Hey, Kira, how's it going?"

Light didn't dignify that with a response. 

"Missing 'Ryuu'?" Near asked with a sly glint in his eyes. 

Light sucked in a breath and felt some of his anger dissipate at the mention of his name. Even now… he loved him. 

**Yes**. 

Near sighed and felt something he hadn't expected to feel. Sympathy. "You know what you have to do to end your suffering. You have to repent what you've done. Only then will L take you back"

**I do not repent what I did. The world IS rotten and I made it a better place! **

"Guess you're just gonna have to get used to suffering then" Near suddenly picked up the glass and threw it against the wall. Light felt that pull once again and then the world was spinning and he was back in his old room. 

His mother was sobbing at his desk. 

He felt nothing. 

_'I will not repent. The only thing I ever truly regretted was killing Ryuu… '_

Light sighed as the thought ran through his mind. That was a form of repentance… 

He felt torn. All he wanted was to see Ryuu again but to do that he needed to change his entire mindset. 

He couldn't do it. He believed in his mission to purge the world of the trash polluting it. He'd sacrificed too much to turn his back on it now. He'd lost L, his child and his life. 

Oblivion would have been kinder as far as Light was concerned. 


	27. Detective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L spends his time studying Light and wishing time would just speed up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is as far as I've written. Other chapters will be written and uploaded but I doubt they will be on time due to a crazy work/personal schedule I've got going on at the moment. 
> 
> Enjoy!

It's been twenty years since I died. Fourteen since Light died. 

Time moves very slowly in Mu. I have enjoyed getting to know Watari's family and watching the advancements occuring in the human realm, but I am, at my heart, a Detective. 

I've assisted the Trio in a few cases but for the most part I spend my time investigating Light, just as I did when I was alive. Time really does heal all wounds. As the years have passed he is less vindictive and spiteful. The reality of his situation has hit home and I can see Kira crumbling away. 

Alone in his despair, Light begins to emerge once again. His mother and father have both passed on, their demise no doubt contributed by their son's premature death. I've spoken to Souichiro and he is hopefully that time and suffering will return the son that was lost to him. 

Sometimes I think 100 years was too long. Sometimes I think it isn't enough. Mu is full of those he has killed. Raye Penbar and Naomi Misora are especially interested in whether or not Light Yagami will repent in the time allowed. If he doesn't he will not be able to pass on and will be trapped forever in the human world as a lost soul. I cannot believe that is his fate. I want him here with me. 

In Mu there is no place for old grievances and grudges. In death, all are equal. The problem is just getting Light to admit he was wrong and repent for what he has done. I don't want him trapped in limbo forever and that is the reason I've given him 100 years. If my Light has not found a way to break through by then… 

I will return to the mortal realm and be lost with him. It's foolish and irrational but it's love. I don't want him to suffer through eternity alone… 

*******************

The house is different now. Mum and dad are dead and Sayu has married and started her own family with Matsuda of all people. 

The house was sold but the new people who live here are hardly ever home. I don't interact with any of them save for the little boy whose room is now my old room. I don't think he can see me but he knows I'm here. He greets me sometimes and I greet him back in the only way I can. I push over his toy dinosaur and it makes him giggle. 

Little Takato is a daily reminder to me of how innocent children are. He isn't afraid of me and will talk to me about all the little things going on with his life. His parents think he is going through the stage of having an imaginary friend. 

Takato has a little black cat who reminds me of Ryuu but the cat doesn't like me much. It hisses whenever it feels my eyes on it. 

I wonder if Ryuu is still alive? There's a good chance he is, even if he's getting on a bit. I would try and find out but I'm tethered to the house unless I'm summoned. I can't move around or communicate like L did. I'm trapped here with nothing but my thoughts and regrets for company. 

I know it's been fourteen years since I died. I know because I keep track of what's happening in the world around me by watching the TV with the family whose house I am tethered to. 

Crime rates are skyrocketing. L's successors are busier than ever. Kira is just a ghost and the glorious new world I envisioned is nothing but a memory now. 

Kira is still worshiped but the cult of Kira is dying out and has moved underground. The world knows Kira was a failure. He never achieved his vision and was defeated by L. That is all they know. Nate River will not release the details of how Kira killed and I can see the sense in that. 

In this fractions new world with governments at each other's throats and fingers hovering over buttons that would send out nuclear missiles, it is crucial Kira's source of power is kept a secret. 

When I'm not thinking about my world decaying all around me I think of Ryuu. Time hasn't erased his features from my mind. They are as sharp and captivating as always. 

86 years. 

That is the length of time I must remain here in this prison until I can see him again. He once told me I had to repent for what I had done before my soul could pass onto Mu. 

Despite the way the world has crumbled around me I still can't repent. I don't regret my mission to cleanse the world but I have so many other regrets now but my main regret is the same as always:

I wish I had never killed my Ryuu. 

********************

"L, are you alright?" 

L sighed and tore his attention away from the viewing portal. 

"Fine. Just wishing time could move faster"

Watari rested a hand on the young man's shoulder and smiled sadly at him. "I understand L. I understand only too well. I longed for the time when I could be reunited with the ones I loved. Time will pass, L, you just have to be patient"

L smiled bitterly. Patience was never really one of his strong suits… 


	28. Shinigami

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light ponders his continued existence and Ryuk comes to visit. Light begins to see the folly of his actions and repent...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come on, Fam! 80 more years of repentance and you and L can be together again! 😭

I can't be certain, but I think it has now been twenty years since I died. Takato doesn't talk to me anymore, but why would he. He is a grown up child of twelve who has better things to do than talk to his imaginary friend. I suppose L's heirs do too, because they haven't summoned me either. 

I'm just stuck here. It isn't so much the boredom of it all as it is the pensive waiting. 

Eighty more years until I can see L again. I can't help but wonder how he is coping with the waiting. L was just as impatient as I am. We both tried to portray a mature willingness to wait but it was a charade on both of our parts. I know deep down that my Ryuu will be waiting just as impatiently as I am. 

I only hope he can forgive me and free me from this existence I've found myself in. The only real contact I have with the outside world is the television, not that I want to watch it most of the time. The world is just as bad as its always been, if not worse actually. Humans with their penchant for self destruction have moved on from killing one another and are now killing the planet they call home. 

Global warming. Mass deforestation. Plastic choking majestic sea life and through it all the only thing on most peoples minds is how to afford a bigger fucking car. 

The world may have been rotting in my day but I am convinced the rots made it down to the core now. Sometimes I'm actually glad I'm not alive anymore. As a spirit I'm a silent spectator to the shit-show going on all around me. 

I stop watching television for a while and start using Takato's laptop when he's asleep. I search for my parents graves and discover they were buried just down the road from home. I wish I could visit their grave. I don't really know why. Maybe they are in Mu and have spoken to Ryuu? Doubt they'd want to talk to me anymore. 

I'm thinking fast now, but thinking is all I can really do anymore. After I searched for my parents I tracked down Sayu. I have a niece and a nephew and Sayu and Matsuda actually make a rather cute couple. I suppose Matsuda isn't all that bad, apart from the fact the bastard shot me. He is treating my sister well and making her happy so that is all that matters now. It's odd staring at a picture of my middle aged sister. Death has permanently frozen me as a 24 year old man. My sister would be 42 now. 

Next, I try and dig up some information about L's heirs. Unsurprisingly I come up with very little. Just like their mentor their secrecy is their shield. The only things I do discover are that L and their associates continue to dominate the world of law enforcement, just as L has always done. Nothing has changed at all. 

People still kill. The world is dying and the name 'Kira' doesn't evoke fear or awe anymore. 

In fact, I'm pretty sure 'Kira' is actually used as an insult to denote failure now. 

I'm not even going to pretend that doesnt hurt because it _does_. 

Anyway, I discovered Ryuu the cat died six years ago at the grand old age of 18. Sayu posted a weepy status about it and declared the cat had died peacefully in its sleep. When I think back to that long ago rainy day when the black kitten strutted up to me I can't help but laugh. 

Ryuu and Ryuu the cat. Two beings who have touched my soul and humbled me. I hope they're happy. I suppose I'd like to hope cats have souls but maybe that's stretching things too far? Guess I'll find out one day… 

I wish I could sleep. It would at least pass the time. 

*******************

One day I received a most unexpected visitor. Ryuk burst into my view and for a moment I didn't know what to think or how to react. 

"Heeeey, Lighto, just thought I'd drop by and see how you're doing!" Ryuk sounded shockingly chipper and I have to grit my teeth in irritation. He is the cause of my death. He laughed when he wrote my name down. 

"How do you think I'm doing?" I spit out. "Why are you here, Ryuk?"

Ryuk gives an exaggerated shrug and I sorely wish I could punch him in the face. 

"Then fuck off" I snap in irritation. 

"Charming! I didn't have to come and visit you in your little human prison. Shame Ryuu won't let you pass on, ain't it? Maybe you'll be here forever… "

"No" I can't believe that. I can't believe Ryuu would do that to me even with all I've done to him. That wasn't the sort of person Ryuu was. Is. I have to repent for what I've done and truly mean it. 

With each year that passes I begin to repent. I can see the world for what it truly is now. It's imperfect, cracked and broken. It is human nature that has made it that way, and no amount of killing of criminals could ever change it. 

The world is rotten, but I don't belong to it now. I ignore Ryuk until the Shinigami grows irritated with my silence. I do not bite to his jabs about my failure. I do not bristle as I once would have done. 

None of it matters anymore. Everything has changed and yet one thing remains the same. 

It is all about L. I exist in this limbo with him as my sole source of redemption and hope, just as he had been in my life. 

If only I had been wise enough to actually see that… 

Ryuk eventually leaves, scoffing about me being 'no fun' anymore. A thought crosses my mind that makes me smile. All of this, the Kira killings and my deluded dreams of godhood, started because a Shinigami and a human were bored. 

"Fuck, Ryuu, I've been so stupid…"

I wish he was here with me now. His eyes would sparkle and his lips would quirk up in that cute, amused smile of his. 

I close my eyes and lose myself to memories of a time when Ryuu and I were happy together and I, who once believed they were a god, sent up a prayer that those happy times could return once again. 


	29. Failure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In his Failure, Light and L's love triumphs.

Fifty years had passed when L sensed the change in Light. Light had accepted his failure to change the world and had truly repented. 

"Enough is enough. I cannot endure this waiting another fifty years. I'm going to him, Watari"

Watari simply nodded his head. These last fifty years had been blissful for him. He'd been reunited with his family and life in Mu was wonderful for souls who had their loved ones with them. But for souls like L, those souls who were waiting, it was a kind of torture. 

"I think he's ready" L murmured as he watched the tortured spirit of the one he loved. "And I actually think Ryuk's visits have helped, as unintended as that might be. I can see my Light in him again"

"When will you return to him?"

L sighed as he considered. Moving between realms was difficult and required a lot of energy. If he could, he would have returned to the human realm right that second. 

"As soon as I'm able. I must get to him, Watari. 100 years… I have asked too much of him. I should have known it would take him far less to repent. He's Light Yagami, he always did exceed my expectations"

Watari smiled thinly at the joke. "Tea?"

L shrugged. Souls didn't need to eat or drink, but most did mainly for the familiarity of such things. Souls slept, had sex and maintained many 'mortal' vices like drinking and smoking. In Mu, anything was possible. "Sure. Thank you, Watari. I… I'd like you to arrange everyone to visit please. Naomi. Raye. Matt…"

"To acquire energy of them to return to the mortal realm faster?" Watari rightly saw through L's request at once. "I will arrange it. All going well you should be able to return by the end of the week"

L smiled as he imagined Light's face upon meeting him again. _'I can't wait to finally see him again'_

****************

Light sighed as Takato shouted at his wife and slammed the door. The sound of the poor woman's sobs floated up to his ears and Light closed his eyes. Time was such a cruel thing. He had watched Takato grow from a sweet boy to a sullen teenager and now to an abusive drunk who battered his wife. 

It made him think about Misa and what he had done to her. Shame washed over him and he bowed his head. He hoped she was at peace. He hoped their child was at peace… 

'_I was evil. I was so evil. How could Ryuu have bared to look at me and remain at my side for as long as he did. I disgust myself'_

Thoughts about Misa invariably led to thoughts of Takada and the child he had killed within her womb. 

Kira's madness had known no bounds. Even children in the womb were not safe from his insane desire for power. 

Silent tears coursed down Light's face as he sat and listened to the poor woman sobbing. The tell tale sound of a glass clinking informed him she was drinking again. He couldn't say he blamed her. If he could drink he'd be knee deep in whiskey by now. 

A sudden feeling of peace came over him and it startled Light. He opened his eyes and sucked in a startled breath at the sight of him. 

"Ryuu?"

"Hey, Light" L's smile was crooked. "It is you, isn't it? You're my Light again?"

"Oh god! Oh god, Ryuu, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry" Light flung himself at L and burst into sobs as he felt that long missed body against his own. He could smell cherries and vanilla and could feel L's arms wrap around him and hold him. He couldn't speak through his tears as he sobbed his heart out and apologized for all that he had done and believed. 

L let him cry, knowing this catharsis was necessary, but continued to soothingly stroke Light's back and hair. His own eyes filled with tears as Light's voice broke with emotion. 

"How can you love me, L? After everything I've done! I'm a failure! I failed you!"

"Shh" L lifted Light's face and placed a tender kiss to his forehead. "You are not a failure, Light Yagami. You've seen Kira and his ideals for what they truly were. You've returned to me. That is your greatest triumph"

Light sniffed as he felt a seed of hope grow in his heart. Did that mean… he could go with L? 

"Light" L tightened his hold on Light and gently stroked his hair. "My Light, you've truly repented. You can come with me now. You can be free from this world and we can be happy together"

It was too much to hope for, much less hear. Light broke into a fresh burst of broken, braying sobs as he clutched at L desperately. 

"Come with me now, Light" L withdrew from Light's embrace and stood up. Behind him a glowing white portal appeared and Light stood up, transfixed at the beauty of it. 

"I can really go with you? I can go to Mu and be with you" Light whispered in awe. He knew he still had another fifty years to wait. 

"Yes. I told you long ago I am not a patient man and neither are you. Come with me, Light, it's time to finally put the past behind us" L held out his hand and Light stumbled forward to clasp it in his own. 

The portal filled the room with pure, white light and in an instant they were gone. 

It was to be the last time L Lawliet or Light Yagami ever saw the human realm. Neither would need to return again fo r they had found what they were looking for:

One another. 


	30. Lifespan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light arrive at Mu. Light is judged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go!! I've really enjoyed this challenge. Thank you to everyone who has read, left kudos and commented. I really appreciate it ❤

Light's first thought as he looked around the vast expanse of Mu was; 'Am I dreaming?'

"Welcome home, Light" L did not let go of Light's hand as he led him towards a beautiful stained-glass laden building. "I will explain how things work in Mu, but for now you need to go to the hall of souls and register. There is a group called 'The Ancients' who reside there and it is their responsibility to welcome all new souls into Mu. They… are aware of who you were and the ones that I went to when I first arrived to try and save you"

Light felt his eyes mist with tears. That was so very typical of Ryuu. No sooner had he killed him he was already trying to save his soul. He didn't believe such a pure, devoted love as L's. 

"Why…" Light whispered through his tears. 

"Because I loved you" L replied simply. "And even though I was terrified Kira would take over you completely I couldn't give up hope that a part of you remained. I couldn't just not try to save you, Light. I would have damned myself in the process. The Ancients proposed 100 years so they might be a little shocked with our return now but… they are fair and wise beings. I believe they will see your repentance"

Light swallowed thickly as L opened the door and led him inside. He suddenly felt so nervous as the splendor of the great hallway washed over him. Beautiful multicolored light filled the vast interior and cast an ethereal glow over the marble floors. Ryuk had said heaven and hell did not exist but surely he was wrong. How could this not be heaven? He was standing in the most beautiful place he had ever seen with L's warm, living hand clasped in his. 

"L… I'm scared" Light admitted in a hushed voice as they stood before the towering oak doors to the main chamber. 

"I know, but I am with you" L squeezed his hand in reassurance. "I will do all I can to ensure you are given an eternal lifespan too"

_'An eternal lifespan?_ There is so much I need to learn about this strange place. Hopefully L is right and I will be allowed to stay' Light thought as he sucked in a deep, steadying breath. He could do this! 

He pushed open the doors and winced as harsh light poured out of the room.

"That takes some getting used to" L's drawl made him laugh, "Come on, they don't like to be kept waiting. Follow me and wait to be invited to speak"

Light, who would once have scoffed at the notion of waiting to speak, nodded his head and forced himself to walk into the brightness on shaky legs_. 'It will be alright. Ryuu is with me'_

Twenty pairs of luminous eyes fell on them and Light quivered. How had he thought himself to be a God? These ancient beings radiated raw power and energy as they stared down at the new arrivals. Clad in simple white robes and with their hands at their sides, they appeared non-threatening but Light knew only too well looks could be deceiving. 

L licked his lips nervously and dipped his head in a bow. "Ancient Ones"

"L Lawliet" a raspy voice sounded. "You are 50 years too early"

"I couldn't wait any longer and Light has repented. Look inside him and see for yourself"

"We will. Step forward, Light Yagami" 

Light placed one foot in front of the other until he stood in the center of the room. He could feel their gaze penetrating straight through him and he wondered if he'd done enough. He was sorry for what he'd done and he did repent, but would it be enough? Was there really saving someone as dark as he was? 

The minutes passed in silence and L began to fidget nervously. Their judging stares and silence made his heart beat faster in panic. If he was denied now he didn't know what he'd do. He supposed he would just have to return to the human realm with Light because there was no way he was leaving him. 

"He is genuine in his repentance and shall be admitted to Mu"

L let out a relieved laugh and rushed to Light. "You did it!"

Light was too numb to fully understand what had been said until he felt a warmth slowly fill his body. He gazed down at his hands in wonder as they became living flesh once again. He emitted the same heat as L did and with a start he realised he was alive once more. 

"You have been granted an eternal lifespan. Welcome to Mu, Light Yagami" 

Light bowed his head as he was overcome with emotion. L's eyes flicked to the space above Light's head and he beamed with happiness at what he saw. In brilliant gold was written Light Yagami. There were no numbers for they weren't needed in Mu. Life was eternal here. 

"You saved me" Light whispered as soon as they were alone once more. He clutched L tightly and pressed a revenant kiss against L's neck. "You really saved me"

L smiled and tightened his arms around Light's waist. "In a way we saved each other, Light. Before I met you I was mostly dead anyway. Now we can be together again… heh, there is someone who is really looking forward to meeting you"

Names and faces raced through Light's mind as he thought of all those he had killed. No doubt he would be in for a rough time when he faced them again, but why did L sound happy when he said that? 

"Who?"

L's eyes twinkled as he cupped Light 's jaw and smiled up at him. "Why, Ryuu of course!"


	31. New World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light's happily ever after ❤

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! The end is nigh!

Light closed his eyes in contentment as he listened to L's steady heartbeat. He continued to stroke his fingers through that thick, dark hair as L sighed and nuzzled against him. 

As he lay in their bed and he wondered how he had ever gotten so lucky. Life was blissful in Mu. Over the years his family had thawed towards him and now he was once again invited to family dinners. Even Ryuu (the cat) deemed him worthy enough to snuggle against. 

Light sighed as he thought about the first difficult years in Mu. He had met and apologized to Naomi, Takada, Raye Penbar and Misa Amane. Naturally they held some reservations about his sincerity at first, but they too thawed over time. 

Living in his beautiful little cottage with a family who once again loved him and his perfect lover, Light was utterly content for the first time in his (after)life. 

"Mmm morning" Light smiled at the sleepy murmur and stopped stroking L's hair. 

"Morning, beautiful" Light pulled L closer to him. "Sleep well?"

"Mmm I did" L smiled in return and Light was struck by how happy and healthy he looked. The dark circles were gone below his eyes and his skin seemed to glow softly in the faint morning sunlight. "I always sleep well when I'm with you… both" L amended as Ryuu jumped up onto his stomach for morning fuss. 

"I had a dream last night" Light admitted as he settled back against the headboard and resumed stroking L's hair. "I dreamt I was Kira and I had won. I took over the world and everything was so… hollow, L. Everything was so bleak and empty. I didn't realise I was dreaming but I found myself wanting to wake up and escape. It's terrifying to think that nearly happened. That I nearly slipped past the point of no return and we wouldn't be able to be as we are now"

L hummed to indicate he was listening and began to trace patterns over the skin of Light's chest with his fingertips. Light sighed as he felt L write 'I love you', 

"What I thought I wanted was a glorious new world where there would be peace and happiness without criminality. It was a pipe dream from the very beginning"

L didn't reply verbally. He continued to trace and words on Light's chest. 'I know, Light'

"But now I actually have that. Being in Mu with you is a new world for me. It's everything I've ever wanted"

L lifted his head and pressed a kiss to the skin above Light's heart. "Me too"

They drowsed together for several long minutes before Light felt the sweet ache of arousal begin to stir within him. How could he not be? Pressed up against L and feeling all that warm skin against him. L smiled as he felt Light's arousal poke into his thigh and he smoothly rolled over to capture Light's lips in a steadily heating kiss. 

Ryuu meowed in annoyance as one of L's legs bumped into him, but he simply plopped himself further down the bed out of the humans way. 

"Mmm, L, I love you so much" Light sighed into the kiss as the sinuously rocked together, L on top of him. 

"I love you too, my Light" L whispered before he kissed Light hungrily, sucking on his tongue and rolling his hips against Light's. "I want you to make love to me" 

Light effortlessly flipped them over so he was on top and leered down at his lover. "That won't be a problem" he ground his hardness against L to prove his point. "I want to make love to you forever"

L smiled in happiness and twined his arms around Light's neck, pulling him into another deep kiss. 

Forever sounded just fine to him... 


End file.
